hello all....i don't mean to whine because i can't stand that from anyone.....but, here i am doing it.....
i am 8 days today clean, but still in the middle of withdrawal, i know, i've used vicodin, oxycotin, etc., on and off, mostly on, for the last 8-9 years, tequila before that.....i am 50 years old and i know i have one more high in me, but i seriously doubt i have one more recovery (forgive the quote, that's from the Steve Earle character on the HBO show, "The Wire......., I am a Steve Earle fan from wwwwwaaaaayyyyy back, he and i both being from Texas, in our early 50s and both recovering addicts!)
i just cannot go through recovery again, i can't use again, i am too tired of it all, it's too hard on my body. i have chronic pain problems and major stomach surgery 5 years ago knocked me out of using the over the counter pain stuff, so right now my pain is getting me down....i'm having a lot of trouble sleeping, or getting to sleep early enough, then i wake up wayyyy too early, so i drag all day....
i know it's going to get better, but right now it just doesn't seem like it ever will....
next week, we are going to parent's weekend at Iowa State Univ., where our first "baby," Joseph is a freshman, he is going to be 19 this months! i started drinking when he was about 18 months old...that is hard to admit, all of the times my husband was out of town and i was slogging back tequila and had this precious little gift from God right there with me....
we have two other children, Kyle, 15, nearly 16 and Hannah Joy, 11 going on 27 (ha!) it's hard to realize how much of all of their lives i lived through high...
anyway, thanks for listening...i am starting back to NA Tuesday night, kind of looking forward to that, how odd does that sound???
Congrats on the BIG 8 Miracles Joanna Keep the miracle alive...
And thank you for sharing with us.
Blessings & peace.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
guys, you are the best, i just put on a DVD of a Steve Earle concert back in 1986 and my daughter and i have been jumping around the kitchen to the music...it helps a little...now, i gotta get the dog in the tub!!
yeah, the times are hard right now, i just gotta believe they are going to get better......
Keep the miracle alive...
