Hi everyone So gald to find a group where people understand . I have been clean since Sept 17th 1987. My husband got hurt a few years back and was put on pain pills . I not kidding you once those pills were around my brain started thinking about those pills. Even after almost at the time 17 years of recovery. It got so bad that I told my husband he had to buy a safe to lock them up . It all better now but I was wondering if anyone else ever went through something like this. Also I just graduated from College August 6 and got my first job as a Medical assistant on August 28 and I must say we get the most calls from people wanting pain pills. Wow I never knew so many people were addicted. They come up with all the best stories. There is allot out there. I told someone today the pharmacy's must have suitcases full of vicodin as many scripts as I fax in on a given day. Thanks for letting me vent God Speed Bonnie
Thank you for sharing your experience and congratulations on your recent celebration of 20 years clean! Congratulations to you also on your graduation and new career. It is always so inspirational to see a courageous and successful woman in recovery.
I have had similar experiences to the one you describe. In my case, though, it was me that had a script for pain meds on several occasions and yes, my head sometimes got kinda crazy.
When I was about 6 years clean, I was scheduled for surgery. The doctor warned me ahead of time that the recovery was going to be extremely painful. He told me that many people do not have a successful recovery because of the pain and that I could expect to be on serious pain meds for a while. So, prior to the surgery I did everything to prepare myself: made lots of meetings, shared, made a plan with my sponsor, etc., etc. I had the surgery and the doc sent me home with my scripts. You'd never believe it, but I had NO pain after that surgery. I never took a single pain pill!
BUT
This is how crazy my head got: I started to believe that I could say no. I started to believe that since I had had scripts and permission to use them but didn't, that it meant I could use successfully. I thought it meant I finally had control: I could use when I wanted and say no when I wanted. I never used any of those scripts. I threw them away. But I wanted to use for quite a while after that.
The disease is very sneaky.
Through that experience and a couple of others, I found out how important it is to pay attention to all those quiet little thoughts that run through my mind. I learned to always talk about them and not to keep them secret.
10 surgeries in the last 12 years was what got me onto vicodin and oxycotin...now, i am trying to get clean....again....this is my 3rd, and last, attempt at rehab.....i am 50 yrs old and can't do this again, i feel like hell right now.......
i will never trust myself around any pain meds again, and there is more surgery in my life ahead, i guess i will just try and get through it like it can...........
Hi Joanna, can you make it to a meeting? Give the steps a try. There are all kinds of excuses why we get addicted to drugs. The reality is that addiction is a disease and it will take us down and we will do things to hurt others usually the ones we love. Stay clean, you are doing great and you deserve to be clean and serene.
Kenh
__________________
God is the only one you can depend on in recovery.
Hi Blondie,,, i had a bad scene last year with medications !! I got very ill with stomach ache and when it got very bad I was admited to a hospital emergency !! There i was told I had a real problem and I need to be medicated !! So in turn I told em about my addiction problem,,, thank God they understood !!! I had to go thru major surgery for gall bladder removal as well as hospitalisation,,, the surgery was done on general anesthesia with a non opiate,,, and then keeping my problem in mind,,, they gave me pain killers without morphine,codine,phenobarbitol and such like other opiates and downers post surgery !!! and in the meanwhile ther was many NAs at my bedside as well as family and host of friends and well wishers !! (in fact i got real embarassed when someone send me a large,beautiful bouquet of flowers,,,Gods sake,, I thought that was for ladies only !!!) Like it says in the TEXT "Our bodies dont know the differance between medication prescribed by our doctors and what we prescribe for ourselves "
__________________
Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
