So my friend just called me, the one that had a year clean and has been using the last month and a half, and she told me she is going to get a hotel for us so we can party, but i told her no, i want her to come to a meeting with me, but i don't think she will, she said she is going to get a room anyway and that she is going to make sure that i have a good time, this is so upsetting to me, she used to be the one that would scold me and pull the tough love card when i relapsed in the past, and when i was still using after she got clean, she seemed liked she was working a solid program, but now she has done a complete 180 from where she was in recovery, she is very sick, i can see this now that i've been clean, i wouldn't have been able to recognize how the disease wsa making her not act how she really was on the inside, ugh, i effin' hate this disease.

I think i'm going to go to a meeting anyway tomorrow, because there is a handful of people i used to use with years ago, who have stayed clean, and they would be so happy to see me in a meeting and know that i'm trying to do right finally, for real, you know

I'm pretty sleepy now, the fact, that i stayed clean today makes me so proud of myself, i NEVER thought i could stay clean for even a day here, without being in a lock-down treatment facility, i love you guys, you have helped me grow so much, and you all mean so much to me! (((hugs my NA family)))

-- Edited by Scott at 00:57, 2007-09-29

in early recovery it is so dangerous for us to be around anyone who is using, no matter how strong we think we are. One of the things I was told last night when i brought up this topic was if we hang out with sick people, it will not make them better, it will make us sicker. On the flip side, hanging out with people who are in recovery (meetings) will make us better.
Now more than ever is the time we need to immerse ourselves in recovery. Go to meetings, call people, read the literature, everyday. and stay clean no matter what! (((hugs)))