So i walked god knows how far to this place where there is an NA meeting, (no subway stops near there), it was in this huge cathedral, but i couldn't find where to go in to the meeting, all the doors i tried were locked, and on my way walking back (threw a sorta shady area) a homeless man stopped me and asked for a cigarette, and i gave him one and asked him where i could find some H around this area, and he looked at me and he asked how old i was, and i told him i was 18 and he said god bless you and gave me a hug, and i was like damn.. if a homeless man is taking pity on me, then i must not be doing the right thing.. but anyway he told me a subway stop way up the street where there was a "dude" i could go to... so i went to the mass ave. station looking for the guy, and off to the side i saw what i'm pretty sure was him, but i had no money on me, so i told myself i would walk back to my apartment and get some money and go back to the guy, but now that im here, my legs are too tired to walk there, and it doesn't seem worth it to use anymore, but only barely, having not been to a meeting in over a week is killing me right now
juniper, i am new here, but "old" compared to you all....18, honey, you are the age of my oldest son, get clean now so you won't be on one of these boards when you are 50 yrs old...
it's hard, i know that. i just quit using narcotic pain meds for the 3rd time....it isn't easy and physically it's the worst, but do try and find the meetings if you can...
i moved to a city just out of treatment a couple of years ago, had a meeting list, walked downtown, great big church with many doors, tried them all...all locked, was leaving church property and a woman was just getting out of her car, she gave me a sweet, don't recall exactly what it was, i just remember chocolate.. i remember talking to my higher power on the walk back and saying...ok, what the heck is going on here... i'm doing my part, help! i was mad! The next day i went to different meeting, found out i had an outdated meeting list.
My higher power works in mysterious ways, and i find messages through others, like the homeless man you shared about.
Tell yourself just for today using is not an option do some mirror work, tell yourself you are worthy, you are precious and that you love you.
I haven't gone to a meeting yet, i applied for 3 jobs, and "took a walk around downtown crossing" but i didn't use i dunno man, after yesterday i can't get the motivation to go, but i think i should go to the one at 7:30
juniper, i am new here, but "old" compared to you all....18, honey, you are the age of my oldest son, get clean now so you won't be on one of these boards when you are 50 yrs old...
