"We may think that we have done enough by writing about our past. We cannot afford this mistake" ............................Basic Text. P. 32
Some of us aren't too keen on writing out the fourth step. Others take it to an obsessive extreme. To our sponsor's growing dismay, we inventory ourselves again and again. We discover everything there is to know about why were the way we were. We have the idea that thinking, writing, and talking about our past is enough. We hear none of our sponsor's suggestions to become entirely ready to have our defects removed or make amends for the harm we've caused. We simply write more about those defects and delightedly share our fresh insights. Finally, our worn-out sponsor withdraws from is in self-defense. Extreme as this scenario may seem, many of us have ourselves in just such a situation. Thinking, writing, and talking abut what was wrong with us made us feel like we had it all under control. Sooner or later, however we realized we are stuck in our problems, the solutions nowhere in sight. We knew that, if we wanted to live differently, we would have to move on beyond Step Five in our program. We began to seek the willingness to have a Higher Power remove the character defects of which we'd become so intensely aware. We made amends tor the destruction we had caused others in acting out on those defects. Only then did we begin to experience the freedom of an awakening spirit. Today we're no longer victims; we are free to move on in our recovery.
JUST FOR TODAY: although necessary, Steps Four and Five alone will not bring about emotional and spiritual recovery. I will take them, and then I will act on them.
I have come to certain places having to do with my Character that just threw me for a loop and and blew me away "HOW AM I EVER GOING TO CHANGE THIS HARMFUL ASPECT" or how am I ever going to accept this thing in my life.
Bottom line there are somethings i CANT change all by myself, something I find difficult to accept or even impossible but when i sincerely turn it over ask for help and I'm willing to do whats necessary and I'm honest about whats going on, then changes can be made.
Surrendering over and over , it's what got me here and its what I have to keep doing.