"Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends on NA unity."
Narcotics Anonymous is more than just the first meeting we attend or the other NA meetings in our neighborhood. We are part of a much greater whole. Addicts apply the principles of Narcotics Anonymous in their personal recovery across town and around the world. Just as we learned in early recovery that we need each other to stay clean, we come to believe that all of us, every NA meeting and group, are interdependent. We share an equal membership in NA, and we all have an interest in maintaining the unity that underlies its common welfare. Unity is the spirit that joins thousands of members around the world in a spiritual fellowship that has the power to change lives. One way to look at placing our common welfare first is to say that each of us is equally responsible for NA's well-being. In our recovery we have found that living clean is very difficult without the support of other members. Our individual recovery depends on meetings that take place regularly, other recovering addicts who participate, and sponsors who share with us how to stay clean. Even members who can't get to meetings depend on the support of fellow addicts, maintaining contact with phone calls, letters, and NA loner groups. As each individual member relies on the support of the fellowship for survival, so NA's survival depends on its members. Our First Tradition encourages not only our members but our groups to place our common welfare first. Most groups conduct most of their affairs on their own. In attending to the details of their week in, week out routines, autonomous NA groups may lose sight of the bigger picture. In the larger frame, each group is a strand in the supporting fabric of Narcotics Anonymous as a whole; without that fabric, there would be no NA. The importance of our unity encourages our groups to look beyond their own little worlds to the common needs of the worldwide NA Fellowship, placing the welfare of the whole before their own. The relationship described in the First Tradition is reciprocal. Groups work together in a spirit of cooperation to ensure the survival of Narcotics Anonymous; in turn, those groups receive strength and support from every other group and all our services. The strength of our mutual commitment to NA creates the unity that binds us together in spite of all that might divide us. The common welfare of NA depends on the continued growth and well-being of the fellowship in every corner of the world. Our shared commitment to recovery and to our common welfare gives us a personal stake in the unity of NA. In meetings, we find a new place to belong, new friends, and a hope for a better life. A feeling of care and concern grows between us and the group. We learn to treat others with kindness and respect and do what we can to support each other and our group. Sometimes we comfort each other merely by being present; at other times, a phone call or letter simply to say hello can make a world of difference. Our relationships with other addicts are a source of strength in our personal recovery. We come to rely on meetings and on each other for that support. The unity we see in our meetings is an expression not only of our reliance on each other but our mutual reliance on spiritual principles and a Higher Power. NA unity begins with our recognition of the therapeutic value of one addict helping another. We help each other in different ways. Sometimes we help each other one-on-one, as in sponsorship, or we may help each other by participating in the formation of new meetings to make NA accessible to more addicts. Many groups are formed when members of a more established group decide to start another meeting. Sharing the responsibility enhances our common welfare and creates unity among NA members who work together. Groups flourish with the loving support of addicts helping addicts. We strengthen our unity by participating in each others recovery. The unity described in our First Tradition is not the same thing as uniformity. Our membership is richly varied, made up of many addicts from widely differing backgrounds. These members bring with them a variety of ideas and talents. That diversity enriches the fellowship and gives rise to new and creative ways to reach addicts who need our help. Our purpose - to carry the message to the addict who still suffers - allows room for everyone to serve. When we unite in support of this purpose, our differences need no longer detract from our common welfare. Working together for our mutual well-being is a significant source of unity in Narcotics Anonymous. While we often think of unity as a feeling or a condition, unity doesn't just "happen." The unity underlying our common welfare requires personal commitment and responsible action. For example, when we accept personal responsibility for supporting our home group, we further NA unity and enhance the common welfare of the whole fellowship. Our commitment to unity strengthens our groups, allowing us to carry a message of hope. Meetings flourish in this atmosphere of hope. The fellowship grows and our common welfare increases as a result of our united efforts. Communication goes a long way toward building and enhancing our common welfare. With an attitude of open-mindedness, we seek to understand other perspectives. Reports may tell us a lot about what's happening in other groups or areas, but our common welfare depends on more than just information. True communication involves an effort on our part to "listen" as we read or hear reports, seeking a better understanding of the needs and problems of both our own group and other groups, wherever they may be. Encouraging each member to speak openly from the heart enhances our ability to work together. Regular reports, thorough discussion, and active listening lead us to the kind of understanding that helps us find creative solutions that benefit us all. Today's decisions may affect tomorrow's members. When we think of solutions to our current problems, it's not hard to consider the needs of our group, our area, our region, or even the worldwide fellowship. But it's also important to remember the "unseen members" in our discussions - the members yet to come. When we work to ensure the vitality of NA, were not working just for ourselves but for those yet to join us. The unity that supports our common welfare is created not only by working together but by playing together. The friendships we develop outside meetings strengthen NA unity. Fellowship activities provide opportunities for us to relax, socialize with each other, and have fun. Conventions, dinners, and holiday celebrations give us a chance to celebrate our recovery while practicing social skills. Picnics, dances, and sports days, for example, often allow our families to participate, too. We strengthen our sense of community when we share more than just meeting time. Stronger relationships develop as we become more involved in each other's lives. The care and understanding born of these relationships are strong threads in the fabric of NA unity.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
In the Twelve Steps of NA, we learn to apply principles to better our lives. Moved by the miracle of personal recovery we reach out to share that miracle with others. This is the essence of being of service in NA. In supporting our unity, we first apply principles to guide our own behavior. As groups, we use the same principles for guidance. That guidance engenders a sense of unity that strengthens our ability to reach out to others, enhancing our common welfare. Some of the principles that seem particularly important to unity include surrender and acceptance, commitment, selflessness, love, and anonymity. As we practice these principles, we will find others that strengthen unity as well. Surrender and acceptance open the door to unity. As our trust in a Higher Power grows, it gets easier to let go of our personal desires and stop fighting for what we want. With an attitude of surrender, working together in a group becomes easier. Tradition One presents a picture of addicts working together worldwide to support each other's recovery. We try to remember this goal in all our actions, as individuals or as groups. If we find that our personal desires or the aims of our group conflict with that ideal, unity asks us to surrender our own desires and accept guidance that enhances the greater good of Narcotics Anonymous. Only by deciding to be part of that whole can we support the unity so essential to our personal survival. Commitment is another essential ingredient in unity. Personal commitment to our shared sense of purpose is one of the ties that bind us together. When we know that we belong in NA, and when we make a commitment to stay, we become a part of the greater whole. Our sense of belonging is closely related to our degree of commitment to recovery in NA. As groups, the combined strength of that commitment is a powerful force in serving others. With that strong commitment, we are able to carry the message of hope that will support us all in our recovery. Commitment is a decision supported by our belief in NA as a way of life. Regular meeting attendance is one of the ways in which we live out that belief. Greeting newcomers as they arrive or giving our telephone number to someone who needs help also reflects our decision. Sponsorship, sharing in meetings, setting up chairs before a meeting - all these are ways in which we express our commitment. Each member finds a level of service that fits comfortably into a balanced program of recovery. Selflessness is another indispensable element in unity. The principles we learn in the steps help us let go of our selfishness and lovingly serve the needs of others. To keep our groups healthy, we place the needs of our group ahead of our own personal desires. The same principle applies to our affairs as a group. Setting aside what we may want as a group, we think about the needs of the fellowship and seek ways to support our common good. Our ability to survive as a fellowship and to reach others depends on our unity.
Love is a principle that is expressed in the practice of goodwill toward one another. We contribute to unity in our meetings by exercising loving care in the way we speak and the way we treat one another. We try to share our experience, strength, and hope in a way which demonstrates that recovery is available in Narcotics Anonymous. An atmosphere of love and care in our meetings helps members feel comfortable and safe. The love we show each other attracts newcomers and strengthens us all, fueling our sense of unity and common welfare. Anonymity, the spiritual foundation of our traditions, supports NA unity as well. When we apply anonymity to the First Tradition, we overlook the differences that would separate us. In the context of unity, anonymity means that the message of recovery is for every addict who wants it. We learn to set aside our prejudices and focus on our common identity as addicts. Each of us has an equal right to and responsibility for the well-being of Narcotics Anonymous. Just as anonymity is the spiritual foundation of our traditions, the unity spoken of in the First Tradition is the practical foundation on which we may build strong and successful groups. Each succeeding tradition builds upon the strength of our unity as a fellowship, recalling the vital importance of the common welfare to each individual member and group. With unity as our practical foundation, we find that our relationship with one another is more important than any issue that may arise to divide us. No problem or disagreement is more significant than our need for each others support. The fundamental importance of our common welfare strengthens our understanding of all the other traditions. Many questions can be answered simply by determining how the action we contemplate will affect the unity of the fellowship. Will it serve to divide us, or will it bring us closer together? Unity is the spirit that joins members around the world in a spiritual fellowship that has the power to change lives. By striving to see beyond our individual ideas and the interests of our own group, we come to understand that the common welfare of all NA must come first. Through our trust in a loving Higher Power, we find the strength to work together toward our shared goal of recovery from addiction. In the unity that grows in trust, we are ready to work together for our common good.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Please share your perceptions, understanding, concerns, experiences, strength and hope on Tradition One with us here on this thread
Let's share and care the NA way the wisdom of this program with each other...
Tradition One would be our tradition study for the coming fortnight, till the end of this month...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
The first time I came face-to-face with the significance of Tradition One in my recovery was when I took a homegroup and started involving myself with service at group level. I was a few months clean, and fresh with energy, enthusiasm and time on my hands. I opened the meeting room, set it ready for meeting, filled the blackboard with NA slogans, chaired the meetings, arranged for refreshments, cleaned the meeting room after the meeting, and took care of closing it and handing over the keys to the authorities.
I was so into doing all of it at those times that I found myself at odds with the other homegroup members at times. I thought they had all done their part of service before me and now is my chance. I told myself that I understand that they are all busy with their own lives now, and that I could take care of all things pertaining to our group's weekly NA meetings... Very soon, I felt the stress of having to do all of it by myself. I started blaming all the other members for not showing up, I blamed my stress on them, even though none of them told me that I have to do it all by myself
One member shared with me at that time, "In recovery, it's always important to be a part of a group, be it homegroup or family at home, and do just my part than to try to do it all." That struck me. I had taken a homegroup, and instead of falling into a role of being a link in the chain, I thought I could be the chain itself. It affected my personal wellbeing and recovery.
My attitude changed after that. I started asking for help by reaching out to other homegroup members. I tried to share the service chores with other members. I started encouraging newer members in helping me out. I stepped back, fell into my role, and as a result, everything felt better.
Today, I realize that alone I can't, together we can... That it's the Higher Power who runs our groups, meetings, service efforts to carry our message to other addicts etc, not me or anybody else. That I'm just required to be a part of this Higher Power's plans. That this Higher Power expresses himself/herself/itself through the power of the group. That I can be in tune with this Higher Power's will if I work in unity with the group as a whole. If I try to do it all alone, self-will runs riot in my personal recovery
I found this same principle working at home with family too, in my relationships with them, and in my daily life with them.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Hi (((((((((((family))))))))))) What a great topic! The traditions When I first encountered the traditions I had decided to go into service. Actually, decided is a bit steep. I had finished my twelve steps and was applying step eleven in a small talk with my Higher Power, who suggested me to enter service in all areas, so I became a GSR. I had many ideas about the maximum benefit for NA and wanted to apply my ideas. Many times one member or another would refer to the traditions and gradually I got interested in them. I found it amazing that the principles of the traditions would create unity in such a diverse group of people like addicts, who had had the courage to live their lives in a controversial manner and who was not easy to make do anything they didn't chose to. I wanted to pick up the wisdom of the traditions and began working the traditions same way as I worked my steps. I answered a number of questions and did some practising of the principles of the tradions same way as I had done with the steps. These are the tasks and questions I worked:
1) I choose to make my personal list of all the fellowships, I am a part of like one of two in my marriage, one of five in my family, one of friends in my friendships, one collleague at my working place, my person in my worldly associations, my spiritual associations, my municipality, my city, my society, my country, my continent, the World, Nature, the Universe and add other fellowships, which are not mentioned in this listing
2) I describe in which areas and why, I feel like a well adjusted and harmonious part of the fellowships, I described in question one.
3) I describe in which areas and why, I feel like a ill adjusted and disharmonious part of the fellowships, I described in question one.
4) Would it be to my advantage to change the situations described in 3, so I got to feel like a well adjusted and harmonious part of these fellowships. If yes why, if no why not?
5) Would it be to my advantage, that the other members of my fellowships feel like a well adjusted and harmonious part of the fellowships, which I am a member of? If yes why, if no why not?
6) I describe, one by one, how I think, that I can get to feel like a well adjusted and harmonious part of the fellowships, where I do not thrive.
7) I describe, one by one, how I think, that I can contribute to others feeling like a well adjusted and harmonious part of the fellowships, which I am a part of.
8) How do I believe that me and others feeling good in our fellowships will contribute to the unity of the group?
Answering these question was kind of a chock to me, because for one I had never really seen my marriage as a fellowship, more like a battleground. For another I realized that I needed to do more to adjust to the fellowships I was a member of so as to feel good, or choose to leave those fellowships where I didn't feel I had my purpose served, so as to not squander my energies unnescessarily. I also realized that I needed to be more active in giving other members of my fellowships a sense of belonging, of hope and strength, just as I myself needed to be nourished by the other members. In some groups I found that my needs for being a well adjusted and harmonious part of the group was not met, and then I was happy to know that there is so many groups of NA both f2f and online, so I need not be dependent on a situation, where I don't thrive and yet I can still be a happy member of the NA community. Lots of love from Solvejg
Awesome share, and great questions you posted Solvejg. Thanks Hugs and Love.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
I will share on tradition one when I have some more time. But here is someone else'ss outline on it that I like.
Our common welfare
* Our common welfare comes ahead of my personal welfare... o ...but our common welfare should never come at the expense of anyone's personal welfare. * Focusing on our common welfare helps me to stay focused on my own goal of personal recovery.
NA Unity.
* Unity is not uniformity. o If two people always agree on everything, it's a good bet that one of them is doing all the thinking. o Unity will not ask anyone to conform to any situation they are not cut out for. o Unity makes room for everyone, no matter who they are or what we think about their recovery. * Unity is not competitive. o "We work separately and together to help the newcomer and for our common good." ("Introduction" page xvi) o We are united against addiction. o We are not in a race against each other. o We are not in a race against other organizations. o The entire point of NA is that we can do together what we could never do alone. * What can I do to promote NA unity? o I can't make you do anything to promote NA unity. o I can find out what NA is and surrender to it.
that was an interesting perspective that you posted on the paradox of tradition one, that our common welfare should never come at the expense of anyone's personal welfare. Beautiful way to look at it that way.
Also, the quotes on this tradition that "Unity" will not ask anyone to conform and that it makes room for everyone no matter what their perspectives on recovery are was refreshing to read, a gentle reminder of the basics of this spiritual program.
So glad I got to read all what you posted, and also the amazing questions on Tradition One that Solvejg posted. There's so much more to learn on Tradition One for me I guess And this tradition study thread is really turning out to be a great resource for my learning and awareness. Grateful to all of you.
Hugs, Love, Light.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Tradition One guarantees our survival and freedom as a Fellowship to continue to carry the message to the addict who still suffers.
[1] What are the two things Tradition One concerns itself with? (Paragraph 1)
[2] What is imperative to our survival as an addict? (Paragraph 1)
[3] Does this tradition teach us that we dont need certain addicts? (Paragraph 2)
[4] Can we put members out whom we dont like or who do not do what we tell them to do? (Paragraph 2)
[5] How do we lead and learn from each other in Narcotics Anonymous? (Paragraph 2)
[6] What do we do differently in NA concerning our personal desires? (Paragraph 2)
[7] What does our personal experience teach us about self-sufficiency? (Paragraph 3)
[8] What three common themes did we find in our recovery? (Paragraph 3)
[9] How do we deal with disagreements and conflicts in NA? (Paragraph 4)
[10] What are some of the commonplace activities in our Fellowship? (Paragraph 4)
[11] How do we ensure that we will survive and continue to carry the message to the addict who still suffers? (Paragraph 5)
[12] How can we apply and practice the spiritual lessons of common welfare, unity, compromise, teamwork, settling disagreement and conflict in our home lives outside of the Fellowship? (From the heart)
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Ok i have a question about tradition one that is vexing me. I know I am still really new to recovery and have a lot of learning to do, but I've been attending the group consciouses so I can feel more involved with my homegroup. Something that has been coming up is a certain member who harasses this one girl continuously in meetings, muttering obscene things to her under his breath when she talks and just being flat out venomous to her. We are at a loss about what to do. He wants to stay clean and the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using but what about this girls desire to stop using, he is certainly endangering her recovery if she doesn't want to come to meetings because of him.
The girl in question has a good amount of clean time and good recovery but what if it was a newcomer being treated this way? they would very probably leave and never come back if they experienced that in meetings, and even newcomers who come can hear him very plainly threatening this girl. The chairperson doesnt want to take it on and I don't blame him, he just volunteers to chair meetings, not to be an NA bouncer. Every time we try to think of a solution we start worrying about vigilante NA police. But it is affecting group unity and it endangers the whole group. I'm just wondering if anyone else has experience in this situation and what they did.
I know people come into NA with 'street' attitudes and behaviors but usually those behaviors start to change when they start workin the steps and applying the principles. We've talked about 'well someone needs to take him aside after the meeting and talk to him' but then we say, 'well who? we have no leaders, just trusted servants, and they didn't sign up to be NA bouncers.' no one wants to be the one to do it. After writing this and reading it it sounds like were all a bunch of wimps! lol. Anyways we are a small group and only one of two NA meetings in town, and we're the only one that meets every night of the week.
What do you guys think? Is there anything in the literature that talks about dealing with a member who continuously disrupts meetings or harasses members? I've looked in the basic text and the how and why but came up empty or overlooked it.
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We are not human beings learning to become spiritual, we are spiritual beings learning to become human.
What do you guys think? Is there anything in the literature that talks about dealing with a member who continuously disrupts meetings or harasses members? I've looked in the basic text and the how and why but came up empty or overlooked it.
Yes there is something on that in the literature and they are asked to LEAVE if there going to be disruptive..
As far as the first tradition goes theres always strength in numbers. Like an army fighting a war we surge into action trying to defeat the enemy that wants us DEAD.
Each soldier has to be trained each soldier makes up the fabric of that army so its strong and defensive against any and all assaults.
I , WE all have a responsibilty once we join, the spiritual aspect of this whole program is what keeps it growning bringing in the dead and making them soldiers instead of victims.
When a soldier in NA dies its not because the enemy took him out, as long as he dies sober he's won his/our battle.
we keep what we have only with vigilance !!! o,course we need to talk to the abusive member. we had a very abusive member who did some wrong against two members recently. then he takes up cudgels as if hes the wronged party !!! In fact one member was cornered in an ASC and then forced to give a hug to this abusive member !!! he had to do so as he was outnumbered !! Now why am i bringing this up? Because im the other member who was abused and believe that some members here took pleasure in goading this member to be more abusive !! then one nite as I sat in a meeting this member again uses sharing time abuse,rave and rant,,, After the meeting I went away,,,i did not want to do a negative surrender to an abusive,volatile person,,,why sould I ? Just because i beileve in goodness i will not crawl and pretend eating humble pie to be as good as humility !! this is exactly where i see the validity of the statement that common welfare must never come at the cost of personal welfare !!! yes ,,,, confirmity isnt the same as unity !! In India we have a national slogan "UNITY IN DIVERSITY" I never was a confirmist,,, and God willing will never be !! Me and that newer abused member walked this phase with courage and belief that our personal recovery was a matter of unity with each other and a few other supportive NAs as well as our relationship with a Higher Power !! I was also exposed to the fact that many of us who appear to be doing great service work are great to the extent that all others will say yes to them,,,else they become very vindictive,,, and dosent it say in the Basic Text that our people pleasing behaviour carried us deeper into our addiction !!! Just because this member and i chose to overcome our apathy and indecision,, and decided we will anyways be a part of the opening of NA meetings in a new town,,, we were the object of the hate of the many here,,, who wwrr dithering and delaying on the pretext of "following traditions" when i reality the guys in the new area were desperate to have an NA meeting on a regular basis !!! And the saddest part of it is that this other abused member is in fact only more than a year clean and he himself told me how it felt to be given short stick each time he tried to be active in service,,, and not just sit around,, quote traditions, concepts and be smug and self satisfied !!!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Is there anything in the literature that talks about dealing with a member who continuously disrupts meetings or harasses members? I've looked in the basic text and the how and why but came up empty or overlooked it.
Hi Keli, a good question. In fact, this has been a very important issue discussion topic for sometime now in our fellowship worldwide. There has been requests for groups to conduct small group sessions to brainstorm homegroup topics that includes the issue you raise too. There has been a lot of input submitted to the world literature committee by many groups from across the world, and hopefully, very soon, maybe early next year, we will have a IP (information pamphlet) focusing especially on how to deal with abusive or disruptive behavior at our recovery meetings, and also at service meetings. I thought I had the draft but somehow have misplaced it, it seems... I'll pass on this review & input draft to you as soon as I find it or procure it from one of the members...
But if we, at our homegroup had a similar repetitive problem, we, as a group would surely own responsibility and do the needful, be it thru a request by the chairperson during the meeting asking everyone to respect others' sharings, and not crosstalk or create disturbance, repeating it again if need be. I don't think it's policing or bouncing, the chairperson has the authority and is also responsible to an extent to maintain an atmosphere of recovery, he/she can ask members to maintain this atmosphere. But, the homegroup members, as a whole, as a group are responsible to discuss this issue in the group conscience meeting, and work towards a solution. Maybe, if this member doesn't stop the inappropriate behavior even after repeating the request, the group (maybe 3-4 members) can approach him after the meeting and make a request again. If he/she still continues, then I feel we as a group have to take appropriate action to ensure the atmosphere of the group or the meeting in whatever ways we can or have to...
I've seen many a groups, even online NA forums, lose membership and go extinct because the group felt that the membership of an abusive member cannot be questioned, and so his/her abuse must be tolerated. I actually witnessed that the abusive nature of a couple of members caused many other members' membership. We try to protect one member's right to be abusive and in the process lose out on many who participate in a group for the right reasons!
Now, as an individual member, how I can be part of a solution, no matter what the problem is, keli, is by contributing my conscience to the group through active participation, working my steps and traditions on the issue so that I could really feel a part of, inspite of the differences. Many times, I've experienced that the turmoil and the conflict that I project at a service meeting is mostly in my mind and is most of the times unreal. When I'm at peace with myself, and that means, living the steps and traditions at that particular moment, I see, sense and feel the miracle of our Higher Power unfold through the power of the group as a whole of which I'm but a part
Last sunday, I went to the Area Service meeting an hour late, and through out the half-an-hour drive, I was imagining that they will all make it a point as soon as I reach there to admonish me for coming late, what I would say as a retort etc., to such an extent that I was imagining a full-fledged war with everyone as if they all have only one important thing to focus at the ASC Meeting - Me! No doubt, our JFT says, we addicts hardly get into a relationship when we start planning about which lawyer to hire for the divorce
But when I entered the ASC meeting on sunday, said the third step prayer and asked my Higher Power to guide me in my participation, I enjoyed the whole meeting. There was so much of love, care, spiritual energy flowing... and yes, most importantly, as a result of all this, lots of efforts, week after week, almost every other day, so many members, for the first time are participating in H&I, PR, NA Events/Workshops/Learning Days, Literature translation, Outreach work (we have a member representing from a new NA group from another town, taking care of Post Box, Phoneline, Regional issues, group concerns, webservant issues and what not. Newcomers enthusiasm and energy is flowing complementing experienced members, there is a balance, there are newcomers flooding our recovery meetings everyday as a result, and staying in recovery for good, there is emphasis on sponsorship and stepwork, it's all so amazingly beautiful to be a part of. And I know for sure when I ask how this kind of a spiritual experience is possible at the area level, the answer is the willingness of the members to practice spiritual principles (steps, traditions, concepts) to the best of our abilities. I'm grateful to be part of such an area and fellowship.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Tahir, one of the people in our group had heard of that IP from somewhere but none of us could find it even mentioned online - that must be why! Thanks so much for the awesome advice. In my opinion, having the chairperson asking everyone to respect others' sharings, and not crosstalk seems the ideal solution. I should have realized that anyways because thats how it works on the online meetings, which are disrupted a heck of allot more than real life meetings lol.
Raman you brought up a great point about the people pleasing. I KNOW I have a problem with that.
Thanks for the ESH
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We are not human beings learning to become spiritual, we are spiritual beings learning to become human.
I have been thinking so much about this tradition and about what everyone has written. I love when I get really tuned in to a recovery topic so that I think about it for days.
When I first became involved at the Area level of service, I was still in my first few years of recovery. I didn't have a clear understanding of how things worked. I thought that when I made a motion, I was supposed to "win." And so I would argue my point with everyone in an attempt to win.
I learned over time that making a motion or carrying one from a home group or subcommittee just made me the messenger. Sometimes I was a messenger of my own voice and sometimes of the voice of a group. Either way, though, I was only responsible for carrying that message/thought/idea and then turning it over to the greater voice: Area Service Committee.
That was my first understanding of Tradition One: That the whole of ASC - all of our homegroups together - is greater than the lone voice of a single member or group. That it was more important and more valuable for all of us to find our conscience together.
The application of Tradition One in my personal life and recovery has taught me surrender and humility. I am but a small part of many greater relationships, groups, partnerships. The world is full of powers, groups, and entities that are much greater than I. I do not need to win. I can voice my thoughts, preferences, ideas - as I should! - and then let it go to the greater cause.
I have thought of this mostly abstractly, but have always felt the surrender and humility. However, Solvejg's post really helped me to make this application more concrete: the way I view and behave in the partnership with my husband, my family, my friends, etc.
I don't know if these are right and I hope yall correct me if I am wrong. I went through them quick and I am going to come back to a few questions.
I went to a tradition speaker meeting and this guy said the most important think I need to ask myself on a daily basis is:
How am I promoting unity in the group?
[1] What are the two things Tradition One concerns itself with? (Paragraph 1)
Selflessness and unity
[2] What is imperative to our survival as an addict? (Paragraph 1)
Unity.
[3] Does this tradition teach us that we dont need certain addicts? (Paragraph 2)
I think we have to set limits. Anyone with the desire to stop is a member but if they are getting in the way of the unity and the primary purpose they may be welcome. ???
[4] Can we put members out whom we dont like or who do not do what we tell them to do? (Paragraph 2)
No but what is the distrupt the unity and carrying the message. This is not really a case of not liking them. It is protecting the traditions. An extreme example, what if someone started hoping around the meeting on one foot naked and screaming the address to the dope house.
[5] How do we lead and learn from each other in Narcotics Anonymous? (Paragraph 2)
We lead through selfless service. We learn through watching and doing. If we make mistakes, we learn. If we aren't making mistakes, we aren't doing anything.
[6] What do we do differently in NA concerning our personal desires? (Paragraph 2)
We try, to the best of our ability, to do the next right thing without expecting anything in return. "For the right reason" comes down to motives. If I am in selfless services and my motives are based on unconditional love, I am putting unity ahead of my desires.
[7] What does our personal experience teach us about self-sufficiency? (Paragraph 3)
I believe this keeps us free of the agenda of an outside organization\group whose primary purpose doesn't align with ours.
[8] What three common themes did we find in our recovery? (Paragraph 3)
Wow, I am going to have to thing on this but would love to hear others.
[9] How do we deal with disagreements and conflicts in NA? (Paragraph 4)
Applying spiritual principles.
[10] What are some of the commonplace activities in our Fellowship? (Paragraph 4)
Meeting are the most important thing but soical functions like dances, picnics, etc are also common
[11] How do we ensure that we will survive and continue to carry the message to the addict who still suffers? (Paragraph 5)
I think all we have to do is maintain unity and the doors stay open.
[12] How can we apply and practice the spiritual lessons of common welfare, unity, compromise, teamwork, settling disagreement and conflict in our home lives outside of the Fellowship? (From the heart)
I need to think on this one too. This is the important one. Typing up a good post is one thing but it is all about living it.
Thank you Blithe and Jason for sharing your experience, strength and hope with Tradition One a couple of more days to go before we move on to "Tradition Two Study"
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
The application of Tradition One in my personal life and recovery has taught me surrender and humility. I am but a small part of many greater relationships, groups, partnerships. The world is full of powers, groups, and entities that are much greater than I. I do not need to win. I can voice my thoughts, preferences, ideas - as I should! - and then let it go to the greater cause.
I have thought of this mostly abstractly, but have always felt the surrender and humility. However, Solvejg's post really helped me to make this application more concrete: the way I view and behave in the partnership with my husband, my family, my friends, etc.
I also benefit a lot when I try to practice these traditions within a NA setting. I've also found that traditions annoy many a member because what traditions ask for is humility, acceptance, equality, group conscience above my own, teamwork rather than seeking limelight... and just like the Basic Text clearly says, Traditions is what will save each of us from ourselves... lol... Somehow, these traditions have been so divinely composed that it robs away that part of our addictive self that cries for fame, pride, poplularity, praise, power, control etc., and that is why we get annoyed as soon as someone points out a tradition. We tend to perceive these traditions as a threat to our personal agendas
Anyways, with the help of my Sponsor, I came to realize that the only way I can practice spiritual principles in context of my marriage, my family, my workplace, my society, my community or any other group setting that I'm a part of is by start practising these traditions in NA service groups. Doing so has a transforming effect in my relationships with others outside NA. If I refuse to surrender to these traditions and resist them in my personal pursuits in the course of NA service, I am not able to be fair or healthy in my relationships with my wife, my parents, my siblings, my friends, my colleagues etc. too...
When I feel offended because the service committee chose something else than what I proposed must be done, I feel offended the same way if my parents or friends or my wife choose a different way, and this creates havoc in these relationships... I lose out on the best of these loved ones, and they lose out on the best of me...
If I surrender to what the group feels must be the future course of action on a particular issue wholeheartedly as an expression of our Higher Power's will for us, even when I feel my way "is" the right way... I'm able to open my mind and perceive ideas and ways that my loved one or a friend or a coworker suggests, and am able to surrender to what my family or group of friends think would be the best course of action, knowing that the common welfare of us all comes first, that my being in a healthy relationships with them depends on this unity.
A group and traditions being that ties that bind me with a group is a powerful and potent force of my Higher Power that protects me from ME. Being a part of the group with the traditions (along with steps) as my guiding force, I'm set free from the worst prison that could ever be - my own mind where my disease thrives...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
The open-mindedness that comes with the practice of Tradition One is a benefit I often miss! In those situations when things are not going as I wish, I am so focused on practicing surrender and acceptance - and patience and tolerance - that that I forget I am awarded the opportunity to see from another perspective. After all, practicing spiritual principles is not always easy. Sometimes it takes every ounce of my concentration. Nonetheless, Tahir, thank you reminding me to appreciate the open-mindedness.
On another note, I must admit that my pride is my greatest challenge in the application of the 1st Tradition. My pride believes that I don't need these a$$holes anyway so who cares what they want or think or need? But the truth is that I do need to have relationships and I do need to maintain harmony/unity in those relationships.
Ha, ha, ha !!! Brings to mind a line= when one day you find that all of em are up against you cause of what you thought,said or did,,dont be afraid to turn around,, then you have em all behind you !!!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Thank you all for your precious participation in Tradition One study Glad I'm a part of this study, happened to learn a lot, from what each of you had to share...
Time to move on to Tradition Two now, so I'll unsticky this thread and sticky Tradition Two for the next fortnight study. Please continue to share your experiences, strength and hope on Tradition Two...
WE CAN, HUGS
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Here's good ESH on Tradition One shared by members of MIP sometime back, please continue to share on this topic/thread, it can very turn out to be a great resource on Tradition One for many of us...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
