THIS IS A STORY OF NA AND 9/11 BY JAYSON COLE ON 9/11
Not many of us knew Kaitlina. She was young and kinda quiet,sheshared softly when she come to NA many years ago, NA told her all the usual stuff, and she did what was suggested. One day she walked right up to one of the women there and asked her to help her work the steps of this program. Stephanie was of those people who"you've known all your life" even if you had met her ten minutes before. She "carried the message" by her very presence. She was universally liked because she was simply universally and unconditionally kind.She'd sit and talk with Kaitlina before and after meetings and they would quietly go about the work of recovery. But on September 11,2001 Stephanie went to work in the twin towers. That morning the twin towers were attack and Stephanie realize she was going away very soon. She was thinking about the day before when she told" Kaitlina to believe in herself and you are worth staying clean for." Then she closed her eyes and was gone as the towers fell. Tonight, I ask for your prayers for all those who
grieve, for the children whose worlds have been
shattered, for all whose sense of safety and
security has been threatened. And I pray they
will be comforted by a power greater than any
of us, spoken through the ages in Psalm 23:
"Even though I walk through the valley of the
shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with
me."president Bush september 11,2001 Some of us will never forget that day. One year later Kaitlina was found dead in the morning. Her car was parked along side of the road and she was dead of an overdose. And now Kaitlins's gone,too. When I first got here, I used to think of all of us as making up a "fabric" of NA. Individually we're just threads, but collectively we're strong, and *we* can stay clean.
What's been given to me to understand now however is that the image of "fabric" isn't quite accurate. When I stand way, way back and look, it looks like an enormous beautiful painting-- each of you a splash of brilliant color. But as I come closer to the picture I see that its not a painting at all.
It's a mosaic.
Each of us is but one small tile in this mosaic in my mind, and by God's grace there are more and more new tiles added to it with each new day, and the mosaic grows.
But when one of us goes back out-- when one of has to die-- the tile doesn't get replaced. Where there was once beauty, there is now a hole. The color is gone. Now, only the gray grout is visible, and the tiles surrounding the void seem a bit less firmly anchored in place...
Yes, Kaitlina, the sun will come up tomorrow. Perhaps then I will again have what it takes to back far enough away to see the mosaic in all its graceful beauty. But now, just now, there is too much gray. And the colors surrounding the void are washed out by tears too long unshed. And now, in all the gray, I miss you all on this day of september 11.
I am uncertain how to respond to some of your posts. I am often not sure if your post is something you have written or something you have forwarded from another place/person. This post is a perfect example. Are you sharing your personal experience, did you know Stephanie and Kaitlin? Or is this something you read or heard and want to share with us?
Maybe you could give a little intro or something: "This is something I heard at a meeting and wanted to share" or "I wrote this last night..." This information will help me know how to respond.
i know stephanie that was my student's mother and kaitlina was my son's aunt when i write something i put by jayson cole i lived september 11 i lost alot of lives on that day and i should have been in those towers that day. the only thing not mine so far on this broad is jft.by jayson cole