Hello! I know I am probably on the wrong page, but I can't find anything else. My husband has confessed he has been using cocaine and others drugs our entire marrige. I thought it was a thing of the past, however, he has been lying the entire time. We have a 17 month year old son and it KILLS me. He has done it with me present and now come to find out with my son present. This is a very long story put short. Does anyone out there have any help groups and can give me any help or advise with how I deal with this. He has made HUGE steps in the past 5 days....joining NA, telling his family, and coming 100% honest with me. I just don't know if I can stay in this marriage and forgive him!
Your husband has been through some times that he cannot control. We have all been there. Try to support him in his recovery as much as possible. Really this site is for recovering addicts only.
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God is the only one you can depend on in recovery.
I'm also a husband to an addict, and as such, I've come to realize that the problem for me in context of my relationship with her is not "how can I make her recover from her addiction?"
The actual problem for me is "How do I take care of myself, my feelings and my helplessness over my loved one's addiction?" and then I was into the solution of joining NarAnon Family Groups, getting the support I needed from people who've been there and know what it is to go through what I was going through. Today, I don't try to work on my wife's addiction anymore. Instead, I work my own program of recovery, for myself, on the situation.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
You might want to look for some Naranon and Alanon meetings in your area. There are people there who have lots of experience with your situation.
Please remember that there is no one answer that is right for everyone. We all must find our own paths and it sure helps to get some support along the way.