Tahir, thank you for asking about me in another thread.
I'm here, just very busy with my young visitors. I'm visiting the board and reading when I can, but time and energy have been limited. You are all in my thoughts and I miss you.
Ken, a big hug to you and much gratitude for your honest posts and incredible open mindedness. Keli girl, congratulations on your 30 days! A mega super big hug to you! Tahir, Raman, V, my consistent friends, all I can say is I love you three.
Love you too, Blithe Have a great time with your young ones...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Yes, the Cape is very beautiful! Boston is a lot of fun, too. I live right in between and love them both. I hope you'll let me know next time you're in the area and I'll come meet you at a meeting.
HI Blithe,,,as for whats going on in my life,,, Im thinking +will I ever slow down and be cooler ?+ Ive had a crazy week= 1.lost control of my jeep after a skid and the vehicle was on its side,,, big damage to the body !! 2.misunderstandings with Ma 3.Im very angry with an NA who also plays music with me
Theres been good scenes too= 1.my closeness with my baby (my 11 year old Anjana) 2.great music playing,,, fully Higher Powered 3.good earnings 4.was able to look at many "dis-ease feelings" squarely and let go !!! So yes,,, its been a week or plus and minus,,, all in all never a dull moment !! I love that !!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Hi Blithe, thanks for the note, we liked to be noticed sometimes, thanks for that. Please keep the shares coming, we all like to read them. Having a great week at home with just me and my wife, life is good! Hope you are having a great day also.
kenh
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God is the only one you can depend on in recovery.
Raman, I always love reading your posts. Are you okay after the jeep accident? And just for the record, I think you're super cool. (Or are you talking about the temperature?!)
I actually have a few minutes to post again and would like to share what's going on. The children visiting me are my grandchildren. (I'm not really all that old - 46. It's just that I had my kids when I was very young.) Anyway, they stay with me fairly regularly because (a) my son and his wife are in the military and have difficult schedules and (b) the children are not very well cared for so I try to bring them home with me whenever I can. The whole thing makes me very sad and I struggle with anger, resentment, and control issues when it comes to the children and their home life.
The oldest (2 years 11 months) has some ongoing medical issues that have not been fully addressed at home. I was miraculously able to get him into Children's Hospital (they had just had a cancellation when I called) where we met a wonderful doctor and he is getting some help. His treatments can be very frequent and time consuming on his bad days. I am honored to be able to help him and I do it with much love for I think that, too, helps him. I truly do love him. I struggle with knowing that he will not receive enough care when he returns home. I worry about him and cannot bear it when he is not cared for properly and is therefore uncomfortable.
I also struggle with keeping my commitments in balance. When the children are here, I spend a lot of time and energy caring for them, which is a beautiful thing. But then I don't work enough or earn enough and I feel bad about that. When they stay for long periods, they go to daycare; however, this time I don't know how long they will stay, so do I put them in daycare or not? I really need to put in some more work hours. I think I will look into the daycare thing even just for a few days a week so I can work more.
And then there is the financial aspect of daycare that brings out my manipulative side: I think the parents should pay for daycare and I can't really afford to. However, I am willing to pay anyway because I want the kids to stay and I think that if I pay, the parents will see it as a great deal.
I know, I know. Have faith. Turn it over. Let it go. Have some more faith.
Hey Blithe,,, this reminds me that "GRANDMA KNOWS BEST" My God,, I cant imagine how id have brought up my little girl up as a single parent if it werent for my Ma !!! My Ma had her own day care for 30 odd years and my baby came at the end of her career as she began tapering down on enrolments,, then my baby was lucky to have grandma care for her,,, right from when she was 3 and her mother deserted us to now as she turns 12 next month. that leaves me free to do my music,,, belielve me when I tell you you are great,,, what you are doing for your grandchildren is like many thousands of "goodness points" earned by you,, it leads to self esteem and a tremendous amount of sense of self worth that one can never achieve by mere materialistic success,,, If one believes in Karma,, or what we give out comes back,,,this is an extreme form of goodness you are doing, once again I wish to share that Ive come to believe that Grandma knows best,,a s ive experienced how my Ma is bringing up my daughter !!! I beileve that me girl has never felt a lack of maternal affection and love !!! The love you are giving your grandchildren is the greatest of Goodness !!! (hey by the way,,, im 46 too,,, a real Taurus subject )
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
