wow I am going through the same thing. I have almost 3 weeks clean and yesterday I was feeling very anxious. when i was getting ready for the meeting I almost had a panic attack and almost didn't go, I didn't want to be around people. But i made myself go and then i even talked about it in the meeting and I broke down crying and I have no idea why.
It just seems like all those old feelings that I used to use drugs to numb are starting to come back, the old familiar anxieties and fears and insecurities. I want so bad to be clean but I have to find a way to deal with these feelings and they scare me to death. After the meeting I felt better and was glad i went but then I went to walmart to do some shopping and lost my car in the parking lot! I must have walked all over that parking lot before I found it. Yesterday was not a good day, I was so frazzled - but i didn't use at least. I should have called my sponsor but she's out of town on a family emergency. I'm very new in recovery and am looking for answers to this too. Glad to know I'm not the only one!
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We are not human beings learning to become spiritual, we are spiritual beings learning to become human.
I suffered from anxiety and panic attacks as well. I had it to the point where public situations were out of the question. Even doing simple every day tasks were hard. I would worry about even the littlest thing and blow it way out of proportion...etc.
I went to an IOP for anxiety and depression where they taught me different tools for combating my anxiety problem that wasn't getting high or drunk.
A big one was deep breathing exercises. Thats when you feel your self getting real anxious, Slow down your breathing by taking deep slow breaths from your stomach.(you will feel your stomach fill up and rise...dont breath deep from your chest you will hyperventilate) and as your breathing in deep and slowly just concentrate on the air moving over your lips and down into your stomach and feel the air fill up in your abdomen. and exhale slowly doing the whole process in reverse. concentrating on your stomach deflating and the air moving slowly out of your mouth and over your lips. If another thought pops in your head pull your concentration back to your breathing.
The reason for this is two things: 1. When your in an anxiety attack you are worring about something that hasnt happened yet and takes place in the future. by concentrating on your breathes and breathing slow you are pulling your mind back into the present.
2.By slowing down your breathing you are also fighting hyperventilating. When you have a panic attack your breathing starts to become rapid and your heart rate increases drastically this simple exercise helps with reducing that.
If you find yourself in the middle of a full blown out panic attack try to get to a quite place with out alot of distraction and noise and practice this exercise. It will only last about 10-15 minutes at most and will pass. and don't worry you are not having a heart attack. Hope this helps!
Well, I have a lot to share here but my experiences of sharing openly about my personal problems and limitations like these lately has not been so good. It has been used against me. But, I would love to share my experiences with anxiety and panic with anyone who would want me to, if they mail me at polartorch@yahoo.co.in
(((((Hugs Mike))))) thank you so much for sharing that valuable piece of information. I practice all that you have shared, and it works wonderfully well for me too...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
I, too, have a history of anxiety and panic attacks in recovery. In my case it was the result of a current (at the time) and very real traumatic situation that reawakened past trauma that was also very real. I didn't know how to deal with the current situation and I had never dealt with the past trauma, so I kept reliving it.
Mike's suggestions are excellent and worked for me, too. I also incorporated meditation (relaxation, listening, being quite and still) and self-talk (talking back to the chatter in my head that made me freak out).
These techniques as well as some serious step work have brought me to a point where I can honestly say that I no longer suffer from anxiety or panic attacks.
Tahir: Your post saddens me. I am sorry that you feel unable to share freely. I am especially sorry that you have been hurt by others in recovery. A massive big NA hug to you from your friend, Blithe Spirit.
Once again, the program is proving that we are never alone, and listening (reading) to others' and how they get through it helps.
I live in a remote area, and my other half and I are driving an hour into a bigger city that has the stores and stuff. There's nothing along the way, so that feeds the panic / anxiety and I get supersensitive about every little thing that happens with my body. . . I need to remember that it's all in my head. I really need walk through this fear. I don't want to feel stuck. Also, I need to have faith that my higher power is watching over me. It's just easier said than done, sometimes...
excellent advise on here you guys. just want to add for my own stuff around this i was also taught about how to identify "my triggers" so when a panic attack came on i was'nt so taken by surprise and i do the breathing and self talk stuff too. my favorite affirmation during an anxiety attack is "God is with me, I am safe." have a happy 24 all.....love ya!
I know that most of it is just fear feeding on fear from a tiny initial fleeing thought, and that it's nothing but anxiety in my head. I am learning to accept what is going on, and know that it will pass. it's not going to kill me, and I just need to let it pass. This is what I know, and now I am trying to get this from my head into my heart so that it's something that I can also feel!
makes perfect sense. Same way for me, it starts from a fleeting thought, some small fear about something, and then it grows into a monster. I think I just think too much lol. Some great advice on this thread, thanks everyone.
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We are not human beings learning to become spiritual, we are spiritual beings learning to become human.
early in recovery I learnt that the differance between fear and anxiety is this = fear is a response to external stimulus and so may signify some real danger and needs looking at,,, in our Program we learn that fear when let go of can lead to Faith !! Anxiety however is something we make for ourselves,,, without it actually being rooted in reality !!! the most frightening aspect of anxiety for me is its self fullfilling nature. Thers been instances when i indulged in self fullfilling prophesies because of anxiety,,, anyone identify ?
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Our man decides not to use this day,, but he goes and sits in a bar,,,, though he has decided not to drink either ! He sits there vacant minded,,,then a guy nex to him asks 'can i borrow your lighter?" "No" growls our man . "Why ?" "because after lighting your cigarette youll want to make small talk with me,then youll offer me a drink,,ill first say no then the temptation will be too great s you ask me again and then ill accept you invitation and take a drink. Once that happens Ill drink more and well become drinking buddies,,, then i'll get very drunk,,, youll offer to drop me home and i cannot refuse,, and when you take me home my beautiful young daughter will open the door and seeing my condition and all will ask you inside and once inside yull get fresh with her and try your tricks !!!! Im not here to satisy your evil desires,,,So im not giving you a light,,, b&^^*% off !!!"
-- Edited by Raman at 06:59, 2007-08-14
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
LOL Raman good story. I relate to the self fulfilling prophecy thing. If I have anxiety that no one will talk to me or no one will like me, I'll stay quiet, go on the defensive and withdraw and guess what? No one will talk to me and no one will like me.
Reaching out after meetings, to meet new people and make new friends, has been hard for me because of this. I still have a part of me thats on my pity-pot and thinks no one will like me. When i was using people generally did not like me, and I don't blame them - i was intolerable when i was using. I lied, I stole, I was selfish and self-centered to the extreme and I didn't care about anyone or anything if it interfered with my using. I didn't like myself. Its like I'm finding out who I am all over again. Its amazing what a different person I am when my mind is not consumed with getting and using drugs.
But I'm taking baby steps and I've gotten lots of numbers from some of the women there, I guess that should be my homework today - to call a few of them. Since my sponsor has been out of town I haven't called anyone, and i KNOW thats not good
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We are not human beings learning to become spiritual, we are spiritual beings learning to become human.
Hey, same thing with me. Lots of almost panic attacks, worrying about the dumbest things. I know for sure it goes away. I just look forward and hope that I never get back in to that pathetic life of using. Life is toooo good when we're not using.
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God is the only one you can depend on in recovery.
Yeah Keli and Kenh,,,, anxiety is a past issue but at times traces come back,,,i am greatful i cna recognize that !!! So fore i get crazed on it I begin the repetition of the last line of the Serenity Prayer,,, "Wisdom to know the difference" :This too shall pass and as my sponsor had said "Be open to different aspects of the same person,, there maybe many things you find acceptable in the same person that you otherwise dislike " thats why the Text says that complete and continous abstinance in close association and identification with others in NA groups is still the best ground for growth !! the key seems like to have close association, to confide feelings especially !!!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
An IOP stands for Intensive out patient. it is like a partial hospitalazation program for drugs and alcohol but it was about anxiety and depression and it tought different coping techniques that were more than just take meds.
hope your doing ok, sorry for the late response my comp has been on the fritz
I went threw some anxiety attacks they were terrible i'd wake up in the middle of the night in total despair, over what I had no idea then I started looking at my diet and supplements i was taking and found out what it was, DHEA that I had been taking I was over dosing, Hmmm ain't that my addict mind at work more is better, since stopping the use of it I have not had any attacks.
Good to see you back Mike always enjoy reading your shares..
I feel for you right now. I know the feeling. I also know that it gets better every day. I use one thing, it works for me and I hope it works for you. I really live my life by it now. Positive Persistance Overcomes Resistance Every Time. This will never let you down no matter what. Always start with the Positive part. The rest comes easy. Don't let those negative feelings beat you down, no need for it, you are on a recovery path and nothing can stop you.
Yours in recovery, Kenh
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God is the only one you can depend on in recovery.
Someone in the meeting at my home group last night said something that i thought kind of related to that, Kenh. He said its like we have a dog perched on each one of our shoulders, a good dog and a bad dog. The one who is the strongest is the one you feed the most. So if i feed the 'bad dog' with negative thoughts and anxieties and fears, that dog will rule my life. But if I'm persistently positive :) then the 'good dog' will be stronger. I know thats kind of over-simplified but it struck a chord with me
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We are not human beings learning to become spiritual, we are spiritual beings learning to become human.
Hi Keli, how are you? Hope all is going well with you. I think that is a great antedote, as long as you stay positive in any situation, there is a route to make things better.
In recovery, Kenh
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God is the only one you can depend on in recovery.
Hi Ken I'm doing good. My 30 days is this coming Wednesday on Aug 22, just 4 more days!! My sponsor came back into town last night and I'm glad she's back, but while she was gone she asked a couple of her friends to call me and let me know that I could talk to them while she was gone. That was just so awesome. I'm meeting some people who have some really good recovery and I want what they have. Couldn't go to the lake today, fishing's kind of become one of my new things since I got clean lol, but its been raining cats and dogs. I'm thinking of going to a craft store today and taking up some new hobbies. It still feels so good to be clean and sane. A month ago I was in hell, but here I am, not wanting to use, and even thinking about learning how to knit!! I just can't express how grateful I am.
There have been some tough moments but I feel like I've truly learned the meaning of what 'Just for Today' means. Someone at a meeting the other night who has about 2 years clean said an old using friend had contacted him out of the blue and asked him, "How do you do it? How do you stay clean for 2 years??". And he replied, "I don't stay clean for 2 years, I can't stay clean for 2 years, but I can stay clean for one day, and the days add up."
Man that gave me chills. I keep thinking about it. I've heard the saying 'one day at a time', and 'just for today' so many times but I don't think it ever really truly sunk in how important that was, that its not just a quote on the wall. Sometimes I kind of panic and think Oh God I hope I can stay clean! Please don't let me relapse! As if a relapse is something thats going to jump out and attack me at any moment. But now I tell myself, if I don't use in this moment, here and now, just for this one day, then I can stay clean. I finally understand what 'Just for today, I never have to use again' means.
-- Edited by Keli at 07:50, 2007-08-18
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We are not human beings learning to become spiritual, we are spiritual beings learning to become human.
Wow Keli, what a great share. You inspire me. Congratulations on your 26 days!! One day at a time really works. I thought also like you did, what is the one day at a time thing? It really does work, it's not so hard to do it just for today. I thank God that I have been able to stay clean. It is people like you that really help me. I listen to your share, I can feel that you are strong and on the path to being clean from here on in. Thanks for the help.
yours in recovery, Kenh
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God is the only one you can depend on in recovery.
Thank you Ken, you inspire me, everyone in NA inspires me. I don't think I've been to a single meeting yet that something hasn't just jumped out of me or made me have an epiphany lol. By the way, I did it, I went to a local craft shop and got myself a couple knitting needles and some yarn and a how to knit for beginner's book. I've finally made 20 'cast on' stitches after about an hour of allot of yarn over me and my living room and especially the cat lol. I'm taking a break before I go back to tackle the 'knit stitch' and then find out what the heck a 'purl stitch' is. I would never in a million years have tried something like this when I was using. Recovery is a trip!
-- Edited by Keli at 14:51, 2007-08-18
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We are not human beings learning to become spiritual, we are spiritual beings learning to become human.
ONLY 2 MORE DAYS TO GO FOR THE GREATEST MIRACLE PERHAPS FOR AN ADDICT TO UNFOLD
ONE OF OUR FAMILY MEMBERS HERE AT MIP GETS A KEYTAG THAT SAYS "30 DAYS CLEAN & SERENE!"
((((((((((BIG NA HUGS TO KELI))))))))))
KEEP THE MIRACLE ALIVE, WE NEED YOU.
AND FOR THOSE WHO ARE CYNICAL AND UNCERTAIN ABOUT THE NA PROGRAM, LIKE ME, THE MESSAGE IS "IT WORKS, KELI'S THE PROOF!!!"
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
lol Tahir THANK YOU! I just woke up and even though its 4am, (still waking up really early since i got clean) my very first thought when i woke up is "I can't wait til wednesday and I'm so glad to be clean!!) then I come on to this board and see your awesome post. (((Big hugs))) to you too and to everyone in this program. Thank God for NA!
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We are not human beings learning to become spiritual, we are spiritual beings learning to become human.
, THE MESSAGE IS "IT WORKS, KELI'S THE PROOF!!!"
