Its liek this situation Im in= I helped initiate a concept called Jazz Revivals,, a way of showing my love for this particular form of music. In Bangalore India this was not happeneing so Jazz Revivals quickly rose to recognition and some success !!! Now we are a 9 member set up. I play alto lead and also have two other horns in this section. Problem is that tghough ive been with this set up for nigh on 6 years now,, ive never been taken seriously,,, i was not involved in decision making or formulationg ideas. then I began to assert myself,,I have been well recieved by all else except the piano player and trumpeter. They seemd to have a reckoning of their own and they are also ex military . I get into conflict with either or both of em regularly. It happened last nite too, when I was complained against by one of em and the other backing him. Then i gave counter complaint and the situation escalated after a wonderful show !! It went to the point of me nearly belting the short,much older trumpeter,,who has also been talikng bad about me tp others outside the band and in general I gather was trying to make me look a bad guy !!! So when the band leader says we will not practice fr two weeks in order to let thnigs cool down,, Im ready to walk out of that situation forever by saying goodbye !!! The other point is that Im the first one to initiate new gigs and appearances and they are the first to try to stop it. Whats the use of having a band and not playing in public ? so what hurts most is that the band leader always takes their side,,,inspite of them complaining about him too !!! They all also drink and have personality changes,,, I reaaly do believe that the sooner i face the reality of being an ex member of Jazz Revivals,,, it will do so much more for my sense of responsiblity and self esteem !!!
-- Edited by Raman at 06:53, 2007-07-24
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
But the conflict outside of us we have no power over the conflict INSIDE is what we are responsible for and how we react or behave behind that conflict.
Do we have a responsibility to those who dont want to change? is it different then to those who come for help? YES definetly in my opinion.
I have had to walk away from a fishing partener who I really enjoyed fishing with but he also liked smoking pot while we fished, he too had a personality change it went up and down each time he hit that pipe, he got giddy and literally stupid and I could not watch this as the drug took effect over his personality, he was also in denial of having a problem. I did discuss all of this with him and had it thrown back, so I walked I found peace but not easily.
You dont need to continually argue and fight with these guys you dont need the B.S Ramanyour serious about all of this and they dont really seem to take it the same way as you, or they just dont want to put in the effort you do, you have different ideas and paths your journey is different your road is forking away from them......
