Hi, iv been trying to stay clean for the past 3 yrs or more and apart from the odd one or two month periods of sobrity iv been unsucsessfull.
I left Australia to travel around the world but had relapsed just before i left so started on the wrong foot to say the least. I abstained from using for a while until i forgot how bad it gets when i use and started dabling again just using a bit then feeling bad enough to stop till i felt better then going for another round.
I avoided meetings up untill in dispair i got to a couple in Barcelona, i started working a program again and things improved dramaticly then as before my resolve to work a strong program just vanished and my using thoughts became increasingly intense till on my birthday i fulled myself into wandering the city of lisbon portugal where i had scored before and next thing im in some dirty toilet jamimg a nedle in my arm... shit i had even tried to use a bit of cigeret but as a filter and it desolved in the mix and im pretty sure the fiber glass fibers are floating around my or stuck in my body now.
I keep on thinking about using and the progression has been intense from just dabling to days walking around with a fit in my pocket incase i score... the reality is im just a junky and i cant believe it. when i put that first drug into myself i become lost and it wont be long before i really hert myself because i use so dangerusly.
Next i go to brazil so am very worried cause i need a meeting every day and there seem to be no english speeking meetings there. If anyone knows of or has been in the fellowship there id be gratefull for any advice. thanks for listning.. billy
Welcome home, Billy, and thanks for sharing with us.
As long as we are trying, we are not failing...
I relate with you a bit as I also was trying to stay clean for over 4-5 years before I could stay stopped eventually... One thing I kept doing in these years of on-and-off struggle was making meetings as much and as many as possible, whether I was clean or stoned... It eventually paid off... the honesty about our addiction, the openmind towards NA that it can help, and the willingness to keep trying it by making meetings and sharing with other members, have been the key to my freedom and recovery, and I can see that you also have these vital strengths as I can see it in your share... Don't give up on NA no matter what... It Works!
__________________
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Hi Billy !!! Used to be a travelin man when using and now in recovery i do that often,,, Im not offering advice or a lecture,, Here are some dos for me that have worked,= whenever possible I hit meetings in the city im visiting or passing thru if there are no meetings where i am then its the phone or internet,, you must believe that a call a day or an internet chat/sharing a day really keeps the addiction away !!! and most of all i avoid the drug hangouts,drug addicts/hippies atht hang around most places of tourist interest !!! Brail has a large Fellowship in Rio and Sao,, so all the best and saty in touch with recovering addicts in NA in person,bt phone,internet and take time for Silence each and every day ! recovery is truly worth the effort !!
(WSONA has lists of meetings and contact numbers,,, )
-- Edited by Raman at 05:10, 2007-07-12
-- Edited by Raman at 05:11, 2007-07-12
-- Edited by Raman at 05:13, 2007-07-12
__________________
Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
