We learn that the program won't work if we try to adapt the program to our lives; we must adapt our lives to the program. For 3 to 4 years in NA before I finally stopped relapsing I was trying to do exactly that... making a few meetings, thinking that now I've got it right by pickin' up the cliches of NA recovery, and trying to move on from NA with my studies and career and family life thinking that now I'd fix the program that I've picked up in all areas of my life... It took me a long time to realize that it is the other way around... that I must slowly and gradually get all areas of my life, one by one, into my program of recovery...
__________________
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
We learn that the program won't work if we try to adapt the program to our lives; we must adapt our lives to the program.
I got clean accidentally - I went to rehab to stay out of jail. While there I had the good fortune to discover I had the willingness and desire to stay clean. When nearing the end of my time there, it was suggested that I go away to a halfway house in order to give myself some more time away from my people, places, and things. I spent a total of seven months in treatment and never returned to my home town or state where most of my using had occurred. Because of that experience, I didn't really have a life in early recovery. I had left everything I had known and my new life was built around recovery.
I have more of a challenge today since I have miraculously developed a very full life. Recovery has given me the ability and opportunity to have an education, a career, a family, interests, and hobbies. As I mentioned in a previous post, it doesn't help that I feel rather disconnected from meetings and the fellowship in my area. The great challenge is finding a way to keep the program front and center in my life.
I am helped continuously by:
My sponsor, who is the master at keeping recovery in front of all else.
My sponsees, who need me to help them keep recovery in front of all else.
The connections I have made at meetings and maintain primarily via telephone.
We learn that the program won't work if we try to adapt the program to our lives; we must adapt our lives to the program.
Im pretty lame brained and not sure I see a difference in looking at this either way?
I know i have to make changes ( behaviors, actions, thoughts ect.) at least the ones that i can the others I turn over yet still take responsibilty for them even when I have little control.
The key word to me is adapt, I have to adapt a whole new way of living, I am adapting it to an idea, the idea is spiritual so i'm not living life MY WAY but to the way of the program so I have to live my life the way i've done but when things come up I stop doing things my way and adapt it to another way, LOL ok this is crazy now I see it
Ha, ha ha !!! Nice one to share on,, this topic !! Well ,,, I too got clean time accidentally !!1 Pure chance because in those days there was no NA,, only three AA meetings a week and I had no idea i was an addict,,, all my information till then concernig my life came for other addicted people,my parents and few others. So when I first read the Basic Text of NA I knew this was all about staying clean,, so I wrote as suggested by a counsellor who was also a recovering addict !! We also did a fifth Step of sorts and thats when the prescenece of God as I understand became evident in my life. Now because there was no NA meetings I went to AA,,,did that for many years everyday !! Served there and also came into other addicts there wah also elieved we needed to start NA meetings full time. In the meanwhile I was also writing to other recovering addicts all over the world,,,so i get the NA message too. Remember this was a time of snail mail and can imagine the joy that i , an isolated loner ,got upon recieving a letter from a recovering addict somewhere in the world and also my eagerness and anticipation in writing back to them ? We also had a publication thats called Meeting By Mail that came once in two months and we all belonged in a group called the Loner Group !!! then life changed and I became a responsible and productive member of soicety and as NA grew here I served in various positions !! In the meanwhile the love of my life,,, music came back. i was amazed how ell I could play clean,,,compliments havent ceased,,, Grace of God !!! But being a nite thing,,I was hesitant at first,, but then the internet revolution came along and now,,I have at least a meeting a day, by person,mail,internet,phone,informal,formal ! I dont have a day go by without having contact with addicts in NA Worldwide !!This includes Bangalore,India,world !!! Even last nite i had the previlege of there being two recovering persons with me as I played in a local nitespot,,, wow man,,, the girls,the glamour and our music,,,!!! And staying clean is the top priority !!! Another instance is when I wanted to do a Fourth Step NA did not have anything like the Step guide we have now,, so my sponsor of that time took me thru a thorough,extensive searching and long winded Fourth Step,,,, after that is when i actually began to feel free of self centered fear,the root of all defects !!! Deafects cause pain and pain causes thoughts of using !!!! So in order to stay in recovery one has to do "recovery acts". For me this means sponsor who still guides me, sponsees who i try to guide, meetings in various forms that remind me family who are supportive associates in music and hobbies who believe in me and give me balance in recovery NA and other recovering friends who are Fellowship and many professionals who i turn over professional problems to Keeping Life and God as I understand within the 12 Step Tradition of Narcotics anonymous !!! This way I believe is my experience of adapting my life to the Recovery Program !!!
__________________
Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
thanks blithespirit !!! i need yall more than ever now concerning two things that are really making it emotionally unmanageable for me,, one is my paunch, im still losingthe battle of the bulge as always and dont know what to do about reducing the size of my tummy,,, the other more serious one is how do i mix with "normal people" at a saner level ???
__________________
Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
I share in your battle against the paunch! In my case, it's a more general weight gain brought about by quitting smoking, age, and my love of good food and sweets.
Here's what I do:
- Exercise, eat as healthily and moderately as I can, and don't beat myself up when I don't do this perfectly.
- Try to focus on more important aspects of life. For example, my spiritual and intellectual growth are far more important than whether or not I am carrying a few extra pounds.
And of course, a little self-acceptance goes along way! Perhaps this is where our bodies are supposed to be at this point in our lives. I don't think we should stop trying to be as fit and healthy as we can, but I think we can stop beating ourselves up. Let's throw away our unrealistic expectations and accept that this is part of our process.
Often times, I try so hard to change everyone and everything around me in such a way that I get to feel good, not realizing that what I actually need to do is an inside job, and if nothing much changes around me, it is actually so that everything's is as it should be, except me, within me... Applying my powerlessness and slowly accepting this universal truth thru the process of surrender takes some time for me, mostly
__________________
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
My perspective and my responses change when I change.
Sometimes my new perspective and responses can positively affect the PPT around me. Sometimes not.
I change for my health and spiritual growth. I am powerless over any other results that my changing may induce.
Mostly, as Tahir stated, it is about surrender and acceptance. I know that doors open and doors close in life. I have learned to allow myself to be directed without question. That is not to say that I always get what I want because I most certainly do not. Sometimes a door closes that I really want to open. As unhappy or disappointed as I might be, I have learned to accept that direction and move on. Over time I have received evidence that this is the best spiritual approach for me. It invariably turns out that another door opens that I never expected and sometimes I receive a gift that is beyond my wildest dreams.
Sometimes, however, I encounter life situations that are just not acceptable and never will be. I try to give it time, but I know. In these situations I must take some action to either remove myself or somehow alter the situation to make it acceptable. I prefer to go slowly, to talk to my sponsor, to truly be still and listen before doing anything. Sometimes this process takes a very long time, but I still prefer it to being hasty and reactive. When I need to close a door, I try to do so very gently and without slamming.
Hi Blithespirit,,, your share reminds me of the "short form "of the Serenity Prayer !! """GOD HELP ME TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CANNOT STAND ,,, GOD HELP ME TO STAND THE THNIGS i CANNOT CHANGE"""
__________________
Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
I was trying to do exactly that... making a few meetings, thinking that now I've got it right by pickin' up the cliches of NA recovery, and trying to move on from NA with my studies and career and family life thinking that now I'd fix the program that I've picked up in all areas of my life... It took me a long time to realize that it is the other way around... that I must slowly and gradually get all areas of my life, one by one, into my program of recovery...
