"Complacency is the enemy of members with substantial clean time. If we remain complacent for long, the recovery process ceases."
Basic Text, p.80
After the first couple of years in recovery, most of us start to feel like there are no more big deals. If we've been diligent in working the steps, the past is largely resolved and we have a solid foundation on which to build our future. We've learned to take life pretty much as it comes. Familiarity with the steps allows us to resolve problems almost as quickly as they arise.
Once we discover this level of comfort, we may tend to treat it as a "rest stop" on the recovery path. Doing so, however, discounts the nature of our disease. Addiction is patient, subtle, progressive, and incurable. It's also fatal-we can die from this disease, unless we continue to treat it. And the treatment for addiction is a vital, ongoing program of recovery.
The Twelve Steps are a process, a path we take to stay a step ahead of our disease. Meetings, sponsorship, service, and the steps always remain essential to ongoing recovery. Though we may practice our program somewhat differently with five years clean than with five months, this doesn't mean the program has changed or become less important, only that our practical understanding has changed and grown. To keep our recovery fresh and vital, we need to stay alert for opportunities to practice our program.
Just for today: As I keep growing in my recovery, I will search for new ways to practice my program.
pg. 187
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
This is a timely topic for me today. As a member with "substantial clean time," it's not so much that I have eased up on step work, sponsorship, meetings, or service, it's more like sometimes I feel bored by some of it. My step work is always fresh and life presents new ways for me to apply spiritual principles, so that part is okay. It is more the meetings and service that become tedious. I still attend meetings very regularly, but I rarely enjoy it. I understand that people are going through important processes, and that's cool. I am available to newcomers, and that's cool, too. But when it comes to hearing something new or enlightening, well, that very rarely happens.
Of course, it doesn't help that I've moved four times in the past two years. It's hard to get connected in a new area. Just last week I called three women in my newest area. One returned the call and left a message. I called her back right away, but have yet to hear from her again. The other two have not returned the first call.
Sometimes I think that women don't know how to respond to me. I have a lot of experience with recovery and service. I have a great sponsor. I don't really need anything except to feel connected.
These days I have a few remaining friends in the area where I originally got clean, but I make the majority of my friends outside of NA. Thankfully, I am healthy enough to choose healthy friends.
Although I feel connected in my community, I am still disconnected in my area even though I've been here for a year now and attend meetings regularly. NA is very good at reaching out to and supporting the newcomer. We truly save lives. Unfortunately, we're not so great at reaching out to oldtimers. Our lives may need saving, too.
While I haven't been around so long myself, I have noticed that people kinda just "go away" and it's sad for me. Just because people have some time in...oldtimers...doesn't mean they have found the "cure" for the disease of addiction.
There have been many times in recovery where the group was supporting an oldtimer through some really rough "life on life's terms"...they were there for us; we should in turn, be there for them too :)
Never forget...May we never forget to carry the message that saved us...to all :)
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Just For Today....I will have faith in someone in NA who believes in me and wants to help me in my recovery.
Excuse my comment Blithe Spirit,,, but Gods sake,,, what an honest share !! Thank you,,, reminds me of the time when i was told that doing mundane and average things on a regular basis was the crux of recovery,,,, ha,ha,ha,,, no offense meant but Im gonna make an allusion here,,, please ignore if offended,, Talking of variety and keeping things exiting= In ancient India the art of sexual enjoyment included making love in various positions,,, I got a photo here that i took at a temple when i went for an NA Convention there,,, it is very descriptive,,, simply stated,, VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE !!!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Raman, I understand what you mean. My sponsor tells me that my life and my recovery depend upon the program of Narcotics Anonymous, so that comes first. He also says that I should be open to spiritual guidance and spiritual lessons in all areas of life. He encourages me to be a "functioning member of society;" to go live life and to learn from what the world has to offer. That perspective does keep things diverse and interesting, for sure! It always keeps me learning and growing and working steps. Life on life's terms can be darn challenging sometimes.
An important lesson I've learned over the past two years: Acceptance and faith are really easy when I am in my comfort zone and things are pretty much going as expected. Acceptance and faith are really hard when I am far from my friends and support system, I don't feel connected, no one talks to me at meetings, things aren't going as planned, and I just want to go home but I no longer have anyplace that feels like home.
An important lesson I've learned over the past two years: Acceptance and faith are really easy when I am in my comfort zone and things are pretty much going as expected. Acceptance and faith are really hard when I am far from my friends and support system, I don't feel connected, no one talks to me at meetings, things aren't going as planned, and I just want to go home but I no longer have anyplace that feels like home.
Well said, Blithe Spirit If I look deep enough within me, I cannot escape the fact that I do feel the same at times. It's another thing how we should be or must be feeling in recovery, at the meetings and with the fellowship, but it is altogether a different level to be aware of how WE ARE feeling actually, and to come to peace with that. For me, only when I acknowledge what I feel truly can I do something about it... Fighting hard to not feel that way, or trying to beat myself with the program and trying hard to force myself into denying these feelings leads to stagnation and probably a downward spiral in my recovery...
So thanks for your refreshing shares on what is, instead of what should be or what could be...
And as for your not feeling at home at any place, I'm sure that comes to an end now. You ARE at home now, here with us, the MIP family.
Keep coming back, we need more spirits like you
NA Hugs and Fellowship Love,
Tahir.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
It's another thing how we should be or must be feeling in recovery, at the meetings and with the fellowship, but it is altogether a different level to be aware of how WE ARE feeling actually, and to come to peace with that. For me, only when I acknowledge what I feel truly can I do something about it... Fighting hard to not feel that way, or trying to beat myself with the program and trying hard to force myself into denying these feelings leads to stagnation and probably a downward spiral in my recovery.. Exactly! I suffered through a period of recovery being afraid of sharing my real self, my real feelings. I shared that which I thought was appropriate or which I thought I "should" share. When I finally found the courage (with the support of a very close friend) to share my truth, what a relief! I was free.
For me, it wasn't until the 6th and 7th steps that I stopped beating myself up and finally learned to love myself. I remember sharing at a meeting about how much I hated my defects. I always fought them and tried to control them. I was at war. After the meeting, another member said to me, "Blithe Spirit, stop fighting yourself! You must embrace all parts of yourself, including and especially your defects of character."
Huh, I thought to myself.
He was right. ______________________________________________________
Tahir, thank you for your welcome and your very kind words. They are truly felt and greatly appreciated.
Raman, thank you also for your very kind words. It is good to know that you can relate.
Right on! When I found that applying my seventh still did not remove a few of my shortcomings, I realized that they are meant to be there as part of me, as they had yet more to offer me growth and understanding wise
And I took that to be my Higher Power's message to me saying, "Now learn to live with these defects that have not been removed"
Also, my first Sponsor always says, "Growth is where my defects are", that everytime my defects are active, it offers me an unlimited opportunity for awareness and change...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
If I look deep enough within me, I cannot escape the fact that I do feel the same at times. It's another thing how we should be or must be feeling in recovery, at the meetings and with the fellowship, but it is altogether a different level to be aware of how WE ARE feeling actually, and to come to peace with that. For me, only when I acknowledge what I feel truly can I do something about it... Fighting hard to not feel that way, or trying to beat myself with the program and trying hard to force myself into denying these feelings leads to stagnation and probably a downward spiral in my recovery...
...
