I have just come back from out of town. I had been to another town where NA has just taken birth They had reached out to our Area Service Committee for support, and a few of us drove down for a PR Event there.
The Event went well, and I felt so grateful to be a part of this great miracle. I'm not too much PR savvy, and sometimes I even fear my ability to stay focused on our primary purpose while interacting with the public in the work of carrying the message. I'm more comfortable just sharing my heart out with a few handful of addicts in a NA meeting setting like H&I work. That is where I truly feel Higher Powered. So I consciously made an effort to avoid the limelight... Not healthy for an approval-seeking and people-pleasing addict like me you know
Moreover, I'm not too good at the PR Guidelines where more than sharing my personal recovery, the focus is clearly on what NA is, and how does it help addicts in a generalized way... So I declined to share and decided to just witness the amazing miracle of NA unfold... However, they called me on the dias and wanted me to sit there as some kind of a special guest... Felt too edgy and uncomfortable; Just got down from the dias and sat down amidst the addicts who had come down from a rehab for the event... There I found peace, among my kindred spirits and at home
More than the purpose of this travel, that is to support a new area and group, the journey up and down was the most amazing experience for me. I truly enjoyed the company of the other three members who drove down with me in the car. The vibrational energy between us was very spiritual. We opened our hearts and souls with each other, exploring new levels of intimacy. There was love, caring and understanding flowing freely among us. The fact that we went thru some most beautiful landscapes, with coffee and pepper plantations, hills, and dense forests set a mystic atmosphere both within and around us. The serene and exotic atmosphere of nature was infectious, and I could truly feel the oneness and the interconnectivity of everything and everyone... I guess this experience was inexlicable... So very difficult to release thru words...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
I was at an outststion location too,, me and a recovering addict from Bangalore drove there and back in the hope of helping a Fellow NA from Mangalore do some PR work and get Na meetings going there on a regular basis.
In theses situations i have found it best that a fussy,judgemental addict like me throw out my preconcieved notions about what works best for us and instead look at the task on hand,,,,
which is being there in order to facilitate and take part in our primary purpose...
What a wonderful experience I had,,,, the drive there and back was a great oppurtunity for one on one sharing with this other addict and i felt a great empathy for him !!
I was willing to go much earlier than the event itself,,,
first day there we did some Pr with. papers,and journalists. They carried articles and announcements in the papers on the day of the event!
Then visited treatment centres,shared a bit as well as officially invited then ,,,, they came in good numbers !!!
I was especially moved by the one on one with this young recovering addict from Mangalore,,, God Bless him in his recovery always !!
On the day of the event too we were well occupied,, and finally the event started.
A good number of inmates from the centers as well as local AA members as well as a few addicts and one press person came.
Then i was called upon stage to chair the meeting .
We had members on stage too who were willing to share ESH !!
They did so to great effect !!!I myself felt good on hearing those sharings !!!
Then a minor miracle took place when as per suggestion I shared on what worked for me in NA,,,,,and that too in Kannada !!!
My friends,,,believe me when i say that inspite of misgiving about being able to share well in Kannada it did happen !!!
Words too a greta flow,,, and i was like in a trance when speaking,,, i made no effoert,,, i was Guided by a Power Greater than myself !!!
The press member then talked with me and i gently reminded her of anonymity !!!
Also to note is that in most NA communities the press reports and articles have really facilitated us and many addicts come to meetings because of that !!!
The press in Mangalore has really been great in this regard !!
On the way back,, after dinner with the young Na member from Managlore and promises and commitments to be back, my Feloow from Bangalore and I shared !!
He felt a resentment for one member who came accross as "picking holes".
I simply said we need to be open to suggestion,,,,especially where it concerns "team effort " in our service efforts !!!
This reminds me too of who i am and how when the dis-ease is at work,, life gets resentful,angered and fear filled !!!
The Program has shown me that I need to replace that with acceptance,love and Faith !!!
Faith can move mountains,,,, and resentment can make a mountain of a molehill,,, spoiling an otherwise beautiful day !!!
Just for today,,, I conciously choose Love,,Tolerance,acceptance and Faith !!!
The Na Group there meets every Sunday at Jyothi school from11amto12 noon.
Please joiun us in our next trip ther,,,, you can go there on your own if you want to !!!
I can give a contact number,,, my own is 9845181485 !!
God Bless you all in your ongoing recovery !!!
Hugs
Raman an addict
clean and serene just for today in the NA World !!!!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
You guys are saving lives, what a gift to give back to this planet and it's souls.
If I was God I would hold you 2 in high reguard and give special gifts of love and Grace, and maybe thats God speaking to you thru me
You guys are WHY I AM HERE you are leaders when i read you something says " This is what I want from you Vini" follow? ok I don't have a problem with that especially when the journey is to save lives.
I am traveling alot lately guided by the force and power of alluring gold but its alot more then just the gold, it's seeing my surroundings, its feeling lifes force and smelling nature and I dont smell well anymore lost alot of my sense of smell but last week up in the hills I was able for a moment to smell the pines, I stopped in my tracks, took it in deep holding it in, thanking god for giving me that moment, the little things we used to miss today we stop in our tracks and appreciate.
I have to say today I love life and that brings on a whole new fear of losing what i have and what i have is because of my higher power guiding me here and inspiring me to stay clean and I only stay clean because of this program and a desire .
I know I can have what others have we all can , we have to show each other it's possible.
Raman I was one of those prisoners at one time, I cannot even express the hopelesness I felt then, I remember one day just losing all hope standing in the yard surrounded by guard towers and rolled barbed concintina wire triple fences high security , I was insane I had lost everything and nothing to go home to and God spoke to me that day telling me the road was going to be long but one day I would be free and not just from that prison I was standing in. Maybe not alot of guys get what i got , maybe I was listening and not alot of guys hear what i heard and they lose hope forever and die imprisoned I was blessed by god's Grace and i know its only to carry the message.
I have work to do yet and not ready to do what you guys do but i'm so glad you shared your experiences with me, it gives me something to look foreward to doing, maybe one day my journey will even take me to India but it seems you guys have that ground covered LOL lots of work here to do lots of lost souls wandering around California thats for sure I see them everyday.
Thankyou for your service to our program and lives.
I can so relate with what Raman shared. That we always try to follow our preconcieved notions about how to go about it according to what we as individuals think is best for NA I have also observed that when this happens in me, it is actually my self-will crying to be let lose... That's why I'm so grateful that the loving members of NA that came to recovery in NA years before us have already laid the path of service by forming handbooks and guidelines thru their hard-earned experiences, where it has become so easy for us today to just follow these guidelines and be free of leaving any holes to be picked at all...
Today, I'm so glad that I don't have to reinvent any wheel of NA service at all... that it's already been done, I just need to follow it and experience the miracle of Higher Power unfold in the most spiritual way possible...
I can also relate with this member who feels that someone was picking holes... In my initial days of service, I had so much of enthusiasm and passion that it was very hard for me to contain my excitement and energy in a way where I have often found on many occasions that I'm totally way away and disconnected from the group effort, trying to do it in my own way, and feeling offended when someone expressed something which might not have been expressed in the way I might have felt it was. Me being wary of others and feeling insecure, tended to see everything as a threat, especially an attitude of indifference and intolerance towards anyone reminding me of the spiritual principles of the traditions, concepts, or any other NA guideline... It was very hard for me to surrender to the NA Way, I always thought I knew how to go about it, these members who have actually been thru the GTLS and the Subcommittee Handbooks and whatever they expressed from those guidelines for the benefit of the group were a "threat" for me. I tried to dismiss these traditions and guidelines in an arrogant way, as they robbed me of my point of glory... Thank God, I was willing enough to open my mind and read these guidelines, and to have come to a point of clarity where I just try the suggested way first before I try to implement my perspective thinking that it is the best way forward for a particular situation...
What a wonderful tool these traditions and concepts are... they save me from my own self...
Today, when I find new members in service go thru what I went thru too, I realize that we must allow these members to learn from their own experiences in a very loving way, be patient with them, and inspite of their resistance to do it as suggested in NA, try to work around these issues and still make them feel a part of the group, and to get the best out of their strong points... Working at a group level in NA service, where I'm a part of many other varied addicts is the best ground for growth. I have found this learning curve to be very helpful in dealing with people outside NA, be it at home with loved ones, or at work with other colleagues...
Today's JFT on Group Conscience was very enlightening for me... It says it all... Just what I needed...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
They had reached out to our Area Service Committee for support, and a few of us drove down for a PR Event there. 
I have also observed that when this happens in me, it is actually my self-will crying to be let lose... That's why I'm so grateful that the loving members of NA that came to recovery in NA years before us have already laid the path of service by forming handbooks and guidelines thru their hard-earned experiences, where it has become so easy for us today to just follow these guidelines and be free of leaving any holes to be picked at all... 
