Narcotics Anonymous

Welcome to the Miracles In Progress Group of Narcotics Anonymous! This is not an official NA site, nor is it endorsed by the NA World Service Office.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
NA Message Board -> Narcotics Anonymous Message Board -> Hello....New here.
Post Info TOPIC: Hello....New here.
charley


Newbie

Status: Offline
Posts: 1
Date:
Hello....New here.
Permalink  

Hello,
My name is Charlotte, and I am the mother of an addict.  Five years ago I would say my life was pretty good.  I had a nice job, a good husband, and had raised 3 sons and had helped raise 1 foster daughter since the age of 9.  On October 18, 2002 our lives changed forever.  My oldest son was killed in an automobile accident on his way home, only 2 miles up the road from our house.  My family was devestated and will never recover from that loss.  Just to get through each day I took anti-depressants for about 2 years and just tried to get through my own pain.  I was not paying as much attention to my other 2 sons as I should have.  Within 6 months after my son died, my other 2 children moved out.  One to Atlanta to work (he is back now living in our town) and the youngest moved in with a friend.  He said there were too many memories at our house.  1 year after he moved out his room mate called one night and told us the NTF had just came into their house and arrested my youngest son for possession of drugs; meth and marijuana.  We got him out of jail the next day and I did nothing.  I had smoked marijuana as a teenager but, didn't know anything about meth at the time.  Still ducking my head, I got out of bed each day and went through the motions of my life.  One year later my son went to court and was placed on 5 years probation.  He started reporting in December.  He was not tested for 7 months and then in July he had a new probation officer and was tested and found positive for meth.  They put him in jail and kept him there for a week.  He got out and promised not to do it again.  When they let him out they gave him some new rules to go by. 1) he had to start going to the local drug counseling at the our health department and 2) he now had to report on the 1st working day of each month instead of being able to come in anytime during the 1st 5 working days.  In October the 1st working day fell on a Monday which was his day off so, he went in around 12:30 that day.  I asked him that night how it went and he said he had to go back the next day because they were closed for Columbus Day.  I just nodded and said OK.  When he went in the next day they arrested him again because they had not been closed the previous day.  They close for lunch each day (which we did not know) and had a sign on their door that said "We will be closed for Columbus Day on Monday Oct........." that was as far as he had read and just assumed it was Columbus Day.   I didn't know the night before that it wasn't Columbus Day, as I told his probation officer the only people I knew that kept up with Columbus Day was Government Employees and Bank Workers.  My mama (bless her heart) said she didn't even know Columbus had a Day.  LOL  Anyway they kept him in the local jail for a month and then sent him to a Detention Center for 60 days.  He was there only 1 week before he was assigned to the best special detail job in the place.  He came home in January, it is now June and he has failed his drug test again.  This time they were going to revoke his probation and send him to prison.  I begged them to send him to rehab instead, but they said rehab cost money.  They did decide they would let him do something called GRIP.  He will go to a daily reporting center for 5 or 6 weeks from 8-4 each day.  He will have to move back home and during the time he is going to the center he will be on intensive probation, he will not be able to leave the house.  I now spend a lot of my free time (what little I have) on the net reading everything I can about meth.  I need some help.  We live in a small town in Georgia and we only have 1 meeting each night, he has been going to some of them and I don't know if it would be good for me to go or not.  I think he would be willing to talk more if I was not there, so here I am instead.  I think back to after Brandon died and have to ask myself Did I do any worse than he did?  I was on antidepressants for 2 years, a legal drug yes, but a drug none the less.  I am hoping that some of you may have some advice for me and possibly if anyone has used meth if you could tell me what it does to you.  What a craving feels like?  I asked him if it hurt and he said no it wasn't like that, but he does not talk to me much anymore.  He is still a good son, he still worked everyday and took a bath everyday.  He still paid his bills on time.  I have kept my head in the sand too long and I hope it is not too late to help him.  Any suggestions................anything please.

-- Edited by charley at 07:37, 2007-06-16

-- Edited by charley at 07:38, 2007-06-16

-- Edited by charley at 07:49, 2007-06-16

__________________

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.....................it's about learning to dance in the rain.

Rayne


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 12
Date:
Permalink  

many of us addicts have destroyed our lifes as well as the lifes around us the only help I know to give is naranon Google that see what you get good luck on your journey I wish I had more to give you but from an addicts side bottom can be really low for some of us and other barely touch the surface I am afraid I can only give you the view of an addict i am not sure what it is like on the other side
Love in recovery Manon aka Rayne

__________________
hard to be hateful when you are grateful
Tahir


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 2406
Date:
Permalink  

Greetings Charley,

Welcome to Miracles In Progress and thank you so much for sharing with us.

Here in NA, our recovery has become possible only when we looked at ourselves as addicts, having a disease of addiction that affects us not only physically, but also mentally and spiritually as well. I have come to realize that my disease expresses itself thru obsession, that never-ending stream of thoughts associated with drugs and a craving to take them, followed by compulsion, where I end up taking these drugs. Whatever the drug was, be it marijuana, alcohol, brown sugar, norphine, barbiturates or codeine syrups, these two symptoms of my disease were common to it all... This clearly showed me that the problem is within ME first and foremost, and not necessarily in the kind of drug that I might take... When I could so identify my problem, I was openminded and willing enough to try out the solution this NA program offers.

By what you shared about your son failing the drug tests after a period of time again and again, I guess he is just not able to abstain from these drugs whatever they are... That's how I came face-to-face with my powerlessness over my disease... Sometimes, even with the best of intentions and efforts, I was not able to defeat the craving within me to use drugs eventually. He might be an addict, just like many of us here at this NA forum...

Also, our collective experience has shown that the degree of sickness and the rate of recovery varies from person to person. Some might take drugs for a few months or years to face the same disastrous consequences that another might take many years to come to... but invariably we hit bottom, either materially, physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually... but It is always downhill... For me, I was functional for many years to a certain level before I turned into a complete vegetable... Through the NA program and the loving support of this fellowship, today, it's been a few years since I've been relieved of my obsession to use drugs. However, being an addict, I'm subject to relapse. Relapse can and does happen, and that is why I need to continue to have a daily program of recovery as NA suggests... Working this program in my daily life has been the only way that ever worked and continues to work for me...

Hope this helps in understanding what your son might be going thru...

Just like Rayne suggested, please try out NarAnon Family Groups to get a better perspective from the addicts' families' point of view there... I am also a spouse of an addict and as such, have been benefitting a lot from seeking support from one such online NarAnon Family Group. It has provided me with a way to deal with my issues arising due to living with another addict, to acknowledge and own my feelings in this context and heal individually with the help of the program so that I retain my sanity and serenity while having to deal with my loved one. Also check out the Alanon webpage at this Miracles In Progress site itself.

Please mail me at polartorch@yahoo.co.in if you want the link to this NarAnon Families Group that has been helpful for me.

Hope this helps...

Blessings and Peace,

Tahir.

-- Edited by Tahir at 10:02, 2007-06-16

__________________
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting." Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Raman


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 3987
Date:
Permalink  

Welll,,,,without wanting to turn off you desire to help him Id like to tell you that no matter he goes to jail,gets counselling,hopsitalisation etc.unless he has a desire to stop using no one can help him !!!
In fact in my experience it  is never a good idea to approach an addict thru his family,,, that can cause grave resentment and appear as a manipulation which addicts hate !!!
I reckon that the best bet is he be informed about NA,,this Forum as well as live NA meetings in your city/town and be encouraged to attend there or post here or both !!!
And if ever you son is inclined to mail with a member of NA from far away India(exotic huh ???)whi has substantial clean time and is a productive and responsible member of society,,,, here I am !!!
email ID is=  sramaniyer2003@yahoo.co.in
my mobile phone is 919845181485 !!!
God Bless you and him in your recovery !!!

__________________
Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
NA Message Board -> Narcotics Anonymous Message Board -> Hello....New here.
Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us