man they are not kidding when they say emotions hit you like a brick the longer you have clean and dealing with them is just as hard. And just when you feel no one in the world will understand you are ont the phone with onther addict that understand completly. the reason this says I am a newbie is because I deleted my account some one one I admire very much told me not to run I am having a day where I feel I cannot do anything right or that everything I do is poisened I know it is just another emotion that I will have to deal with with out the use of drugs Do not be suprised if I seem distant I am trying to build new safe walls because recently I have not felt safe emotionally anyhow I stay here at MIP cause this is where I got the courage to do service in my area I learned that here. But right now I wanna stay behind the scenes. PPl seem to think it is always about them I have had a rough couple of days and things just keep piling on me does not look like sunshine is anywhere near so here I am JFT
Rayne,, idont want to lecture or advise like some obviously will,,, Ill share with you that feelings are just feelings,, here this moment ,gone the next ! The way i stop being emotional is to stop nd take the time to think !!! This i call Meditation,,, and am quite good now at living life on a more Serene and Courageous level !!!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Hey Rayne, great to see that you're back on MIP. I was really worried yesterday when I saw that you have deleted your account. I can so relate. I have always done the same. No matter what happens in NA, either at f2f groups or online, I keep coming back. I don't give up on my NA family. To stay, to face and to overcome is the key to recovery in NA. Glad to have you back, Rayne. Keep coming, we need you.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
I've been there, in that same place before. I wanted to run, give up everything and take off. Forget the kids, the life, the job, NA, everything. Everyday i asked my higher power to hold on to me because i didn't have the strenght to hold on myself.
I was homeless, living in a shelter with my two babies, no where to go, no possible solution in sight. I had to find that faith that god could help me if i just opened myself to whatever he had planned for me. I had to believe i was going through everything for a reason - that there was a light on the other side even though i couldn't see it.
My choices were trust the process completely and surrender to NA or use. I chose surrender and faith. i did what i know works - make meetings daily, reach out to other addicts, write on my stepwork and apply it to my life, call my sponsor, show up for my kids and my job. Soon I found myself living in true faith that god was taking care of me. I'm on the other side. The growth within me amazes me.
Something that i reminded myself everyday going through that was: "when it feels like it's all falling apart that's when it's really coming together"
god has something amazing for you Rayne! He's making room for it in your life. You're stronger than you think you are. God's carrying you through this. Stay in position - don't give up.
The ability to feel my emotions is one of the greatest gifts that I got from the NA program. Today I realize that I can be grateful for these emotions in my life when I place them in a proper perspective with the help of the Steps. When I surrender myself to the care of my Higher Power every morning, I know in my mind and heart that my Higher Power IS taking care of me thru out the day, and that way, I'm able to accept these powerful emotions when I feel them as something that have arisen within me for a reason. My Higher Power does not make mistakes. I trust wholeheartedly in this truth, and so these emotions that seem so overwhelming at times I'm sure have a loving, caring and a priceless lesson for me to learn. I always try to remember at such times that my Higher Power does not give me more than I could handle, and that means, along with these emotions I also get the courage to feel them fully, not numb myself with drugs anymore, assured that if I'm brought to this, then I'd also be brought out of this, by my loving Higher Power...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
