Once we are entirely ready to have our character defects removed, many of us are entirely ready! Ironically, that's when the trouble really starts. The more we struggle to rid ourselves of a particular defect, the stronger that shortcoming seems to become. It is truly humbling to realize that not only are we powerless over our addiction, but even over our own defects of character.
Finally, it clicks. The Seventh Step doesn't suggest that we rid ourselves of our shortcomings, but that we ask our Higher Power to rid us of them. The focus of our daily prayers begins to shift. Admitting our inability to perfect ourselves, we plead with our Higher Power to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. And we wait.
For many days, our program may stay on Step Seven. We may experience no sudden, total relief from defects - but we often do experience a subtle shift in our perceptions of ourselves and others. Through the eyes of the Seventh Step, we begin to see those around us in a less critical way. We know that, just like us, many of them are struggling with shortcomings they would dearly love to be rid of. We know that, just like us, they are powerless over their own defects. We wonder if they, too, humbly pray to have their defects removed. We begin evaluating others as we have learned to evaluate ourselves, with an empathy born of humility. As we watch others, and as we keep watch on ourselves, we can finally say, "I understand."
Grateful that I meditated on this JFT topic the other day. Lately, I am not able to tolerate members who come to the meeting with a permanent frown on their face and looking as if they are upset about everything and everyone around them... I sense a negative energy emanating from within them and feel aversion to those moments when I have to come in contact with them... Have been trying hard to not react, and to try to accept them as they are, but not successfully though...
So today's reflection from Just For Today made real sense to me... Immediately I remembered those occasions and difficult phases of my recovery when I went to the meetings with a hateful mood, how I have spoken arrogantly to a few members on those occasions, and how they did not mind it or let go of it, only to share a hug or a cup of tea or a smoke with me after the meeting... and then when I looked at these members whom I'm not able to tolerate lately... I could see myself in them and them in me clearly... I realize that this aspect of sensing the same spirit in others... accepting myself and others with all our shortcomings is the solution... I'm at peace now... Now, I understand...
-- Edited by Tahir at 12:11, 2007-04-19
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Thank you Tahir, that is exactly where I am at in my program. I stayed stuck in step 6 for many months trying to rid my self of my defects only to realize its not my job. The relief I had when I finally moved on to step 7 and as you said "understood" was so great. Step 6 did leave me in a place where I thought I was a horrible person but step 7 gave me the understanding that I'm not all bad just human. The awareness that 6&7 have brought me can be painful at times but so long as I have faith and keep praying I will get through it and be a much better and happier person.
Little by little, baby steps, it's unlikely anything cataclismic is going to happen in our recovery but on a spiritual level the stride is huge once we gather an understanding and a real feeling for what the program is teaching us and doing with us as long as we're involved in the process.
I see changes in myself but what I like about this program is it writes out and tells me whats happening because I simply can not put it into words at times, the text and other writings tell me whats going on and why and how to continue the process.
One thing I know is I have to keep turning it over I have to stop fighting. I get tired of two steps foreward and three back thats me at the wheel when I let go and let god most of my steps are foreward.
I plead with God the other day I just surreneded something and it was gone from my thoughts and worrys , now it is up to him yet I still have things to do on my end they aren't the type that try to control and force something to happen I simply walk with the spirit and all will be well.
As far as other people go, kill them with kindness and baffle them with BS surprising the reaction I get sometimes I will often find that a doors opens and they let themselves be who they really are and then sometimes some people are just to full of chit to even get past there own BS and I say God Bless that mess
