I had McDonalds for brunch, biscuits and gravy and a medium breakfast with sausage patty eggs and another biscuit, then for dinner i had a nice big hamburger W/fries and soda, then later tonight I had 1 lb of fresh sole filets ( fish ) with some walnut glazed sticky stuff on top of some cake .


I did go workout after the burger for an hour but that doesn't nearly come close to burning off all the calories I ate today not even close cause i took the day off and went back to sleep after brunch that meal went to fat storage.


I know the feeling a few years back I got up to 296 pounds I started to cry on the scale no lie I keep my weight at about 275 now but thats still way to high, I jsutify it by being muscular but i'm straight FAT too 44' inch waste COMEON MAN!!!

You can get a ahandle on it Rayne I know how much this bothers you thats what it takes to get serious.

hi rayne

When i first got clean I was about 7 stone (98lbs). not an attractive look!! but in my head I thought I looked great, I mean look at my cheeckbones, amazing defenition

but then my thinking was very warped and it has took me time to recover from the effects of this disease.

I relate to the weight gain, especially when I first got clean. I have had to look at the nature of my relationship with food in recovery as I would flip between binging to fix my feelings, then starving myself to punish myself for gaining weight and looking so disgusting.

I have been completely obsessed by food, counting calories, standing infront of a mirror inspecting every part of my body, looking for imperfections, fat etc.. my god how boring.

Thank God that our first step says powerless over our addiction. Obsession and compulsion. Im an addict I will abuse anything that can be of use to me, anything that makes me feel good. Food is no exception.

All I can say is through working this programme, looking at my insecurities, practising the principles of the steps in specific areas of my life, I have freedom from this today. Sometimes I eat too much, but im not gonna give myself a hard time about this. The majority of the time I eat quite healthily.

To put things in to perspective, at my heaviest in recovery I was a size 12 ( 10 in the states), I am currently a size 10 ( size 8 usa) and have been for a while. Its ok. Im ok.

Its about self acceptance.

Accepting what I am not: perfect.

All i know is that when I let go of my expectations of how i should be and look, I settled in to the person that i am.

LnF

Vicki C

omg I have an appointment to a class nad my doc has referred me for a gastric bypass I am excited and feel as if there is hope there is a god

Hey let me know what's your plan to lose some, Rayne. I might also try it... lol... lately, for the first time in both my using and recovery, I'm developing a dissatisfaction to my weight gain... and trying to beat myself up with the issue on a constant level... I guess, I need to make some real permanent lifetsyle changes to be in a healthy way weightwise... But more than all this, just like Vicki shared, accepting myself as I am is the only way I can do something about it... beating myself and bringing into use my chronic dissatisfaction with self doesn't help for me...

Congratulations Manon glad you were able to get help with this, me? i'll just stay fat and work on my diet I have no insurance anyhow so not many choices, keep hitting the gym and eat then salads ( potatoe and macironi salads that is )

OMG!!!

It's like,

you know,

Oh hell, not the first, nor will it be the last, time I hear about weight gain after quitting using. I am happy for you rayne. I don't know, I guess I turned to sex instead of food, so I didn't gain the weight.

Some weight gain was normal for me, and for the first six months I ate nothing but cake and friggin high calorie stuff, lots of carbs and such. Turns out THAT was normal for me too, cause I had like, messed up my body chemicals so bad I craved sugar products. For me, once I found that out, I sat down with my sponsor and we banged out a pretty simple plan for eating, and when I could have my "sweet" fix. Most of what I gained dropped back off, and I am not skinny, but not fat either. I like me just like I am.... now if LIFE would quit sucking so bad, I might can get my act together....lol.....

Point is, I didn't panic and turn to extreme measures before I tried doing things someone elses way instead of mine....

I actually used it as an excuse for several years not to try and clean up I was wearing a 36 " waste when I was using today well 44"

Here I am when I was using



And me today

I am leaving the decsion in my hp hands from here I'd be lying if I sdaid I was not exicited I am to be little again I can't wait

smoking very little I can have a pack for a few days just gotta let go of em and turn it over