I am having troble processing anite terror I had last night I know it is not so much an NA issue But it has my mind in a fog. not really myself today without going into great detail I suppose I am having a mental health day. I am really trying to fight reality and it is working but my mind seems as if I am being haunted by the past. This too shall pass. I have done what io know to do. Called my sponser and my therapist but am not comfortable in my own skin right now.
Thank you for sharing your pain with us. I know how difficult it is to be feeling like that... I feel that way too sometimes... It does get better... just let it be, Manon... It's ok to feel this way, we don't need to control or fight these feelings... I usually allow them to come, stay and leave without getting caught up with trying to wish them away or change the way I feel...
Hope you feel better when you wake up to a new dawn tomorrow... Will have you in my prayers tonight...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
I often just stop and try to let it pass sometimes it just lingers and the next day i'm fine.
Don't know what it is I know we can't tolerate much stress and worry I get it mostly when I am financially insecure , this is the lack of trust that I have because my higher power has never since i've been sober let me go without at least paying all my bills plus having a few extra dollars.
We know it will pass we have to go for the ride and if you can find along the way whats happening maybe you can start working on that issue, it's probably something.
This is what I read about the past the other day. Pack a suitcase its time to leave...........the past behind.
The one thing that has helped me in recovery is that we are all equal. A person with 20 years clean is no different than a person with 6 months. We all still have to face life on life terms. My sponsor has 11 years more than me but if she was unable to share her struggles with me I would loose the benefits that this program has to offer me, one addict helping another. It's a two sided thing Rayne, by being real and sharing you pain we become united as one and are able to help each other. Please dont look at your self as an elder but as one of us, just another recovering addict.
Sorry you feel that way, I was only sharing my view on the topic. I think its important for us all to share as equals is all I was trying to get across. You were the one who said that you felt it inappropriate to share your pain because you are looked at as being the one to come to for support. I just simply was trying to make you feel that you are like us and need us the same way we need you. Sorry you took offence to what I posted it was not meant to demean you or hurt you in any way. And please if you feel the need to blame someone for not wanting to post your pain here look in the mirror dont point you finger at me.
u don't seem to understand I have always felt like i don't belong and to be slapped in the face because of my word choice just makes it harder to reach out I have tried to reach out in my area several times to find out I am inadiquate and you just reinforced that for me I have always had a hard time reaching out but I don't expect you to begin to uinderstand what I am going thru
If you would look beyond that word and see what my message was ,I was simply trying to let you know we all need to share our struggles regardless of how much time we have. I did not mean to offend you or make you feel inadequate in any way. I simply want you to feel safe sharing your troubles here. I dont understand the new comer / old timer thing my sponsor has 13 years and still considers her self a new comer because every day she learns something new thats just how it was taught to me. sorry for the confusion, I honestly did not mean to offend you, I love to read your posts here and enjoyed meeting you the other day in the chat room. Please dont take what I said as criticism it was not at all meant that way.
I am going thru a rough patch right now and I apologize I should not have taken it out on you just realize I have a difficult time reaching out due to past experience I am just having a rough patch ty for your concern and again I am sorry
Don't worry about it Rayne, we all have bad days. I'm glad we worked this out, no hard feelings. You are a huge part of MIP and I appreciate you! And I do understand your pain, I often feel like I dont fit in too. Keep sharing with us I love to here from you the good and the bad. Love you Rayne!
why do things have to hurt so bad I just don't understand but I am so grateful I do not wanna use over this that is growth in leaps and bounds. I guess it is just hard to reach out all together and it is new so of course it is hard ty for understanding love you too sandra
This whole thing isn't supposed to be easy for us and it's not going to be this whole deal goes against every nano grain inside of US.
Some of us here feel we're unique that aint happening we're alol in the same damn boat together.
Some of us complain about this and that, that and this,welp you have your baggae I got mines, we all got it the same we all come in here a mess and that mess is not going away with 1,2,5,10 or more years clean but it will get better.
Look more at whats gotten better rather then what we still hang onto then you find gratitude.
Not avoiding anything we all have issues of the day hell I made some last night and had to get away from her for aminute and think, ASK FOR HELP and walk thru the pain, humbling myself.
This is very humbling the ego must be driven down, the shell of denial and defensiveness must be tossed aside .
I look at it like emotional maturation what would a stable adult person do, see something I heard awhile back was we need to understand others and not expect others to understand us and they were speaking about normal people we aren't normal but we do understand each other.
When I see you guys and gals typing here these issue it's like UH HUH I understand what your going thru perfectly, of course I don't know whats right to say all the time, all I know is that others share and it helps me so I share back.
I think the most important thing at least for me is to practice the principles, patience tolerance and acceptance and that starts FIRST with ourselves, we need to start loving and caring for US, ourselves, how do you give away what you haven't got.
Love how do I give love if I don't have it even for myself? I really don't think I can, yes we're supposed to love others in this program unconditionally but honestly i'm still finding that I don't even have it for myself yet.
Just takes work, it comes, we get there just takes awhile it's slow but once we get it we have it and we know it and we then can give it away more generously.
