my name is stiffy. i have just joined your forum because i am a recovering opiod addict. it has been six weeks since i was chronicly using. i would be lying if i said that i havent had any pills in six weeks. but for the most part i have been clean. i became addicted about a year ago when my pregnancy caused serious lower back pain and my dr. gave me norco. i liked the feeling so much that i began abusing the drug. i got to the point that i was taking 100 mg per day. and then i wasnt getting high any more i was just trying to stay away from the drug. i went to detox but i didnt feel anybetter when i got out. it was kind of like they just postponed the withdrawls. at that point i was willing to try anything, but the dr. had caught on and i couldnt get anymore and i couldnt aford the black market prices. i had three kids and the withdrawls were so bad that i couldnt get out of bed to take care of them. so i sent someone out to get me some energy pills from the gass station. they helped a lot. i was able to get up and force myself to take care of my family. in theese six weeks my body has regained its strength and has learned how to do almost everything it could do before i was addicted. but i still want them, all the time. i dont go out and look for them everyday but i do ask anyone i think mighnt be able to get them. and once or twice i have been succesfull. i dont withdrawl anymore and my addiction was a nightmare. i dont understand why i keep playing with fire or why and cant seem to completly give them up. could someone help me?
I'm going to be short (hopefully) and try to be helpful if I can. I can tell you that it took some time for me to get past the compulsion to use.... you know, that thing in your head that DEMANDS you keep doing it. The obsession to use over anything went away pretty quickly for me. What helped me may help you, and I genuinely hope so....
The first step suggests that we are powerless over our using. Taking that just a bit further indicates that it isn't the LAST one we take that ruins us, it's the FIRST that keeps that compulsion going. The second part of the first step says our lives were unmanagable. And to me its a constant reminder of how awful things were when I got into the program for me. I had no desire to do anything but die, and I was angry cause I had to give up the one thing that helped me cope with life.
Over time, I have learned I don't have to use to get through tough times, or good times for that matter. I just have to live day by day, hour by hour, hell, minuite by minute without using. Each day it gets a little easier. and the steps help. It truly works.
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Faith: the substance of things hoped for, the belief in things unseen
Hey there Stiffy, I am also an Opoid addict. I have to tell you that the key here, in my opinion, is time passing without drugs. It definately gets better, much much better, but it is exteremely slow. You must completely abstain from Opoids and everything else. I only began to feel normal after more than 3 weeks, and as Brett said, the program really fills the gap. It does work. It seems likes it's never going to end. It does pass and when you get that feeling when you suddenly feel better, it's unbeatable. Hang in there and don't take anything. Love, Magellan
