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Post Info TOPIC: Sponsorship
BigV


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Sponsorship
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Introduction

This pamphlet, based on our collective experiences, answers some of the most commonly asked questions concerning sponsorship. Although this pamphlet offers most of the essential information regarding sponsorship, it is not meant to be comprehensive. Rather, it presents a simple understanding of a vital tool in our program of recovery.

Sponsorship is the heart of the NA way of recovery from addiction - one addict helping another. Sponsorship is also a two-way street, helping both the newcomer and oldtimer alike

 

My gratitute speaks
when I care
and when I share
with others the NA way

Sponsorship


What is a sponsor?


A sponsor is a recovering addict in the program of Narcotics Anonymous; someone we can trust to share our life experiences with (both good and bad); a person to whom we can go with our problems that may be too personal to share with the group. It is suggested that a sponsor be someone who has practice in working the Twelve Steps and is involved in the program. Primarily, a sponsor is a guide through the Twelve Steps of recovery.

Who needs a sponsor?


It is our experience that most addicts need a sponsor. At times, we all find ourselves on shaky ground, confused, in emotional pain, and in need of a helping hand. Since we rarely trusted others, we attempted to go it alone in life. This became one of our problems We are people who have never learned how to live. This is where our sponsors come in. Our sponsors help by sharing their experience, strength, and hope. To sum it up, anyone who may have the desire to stay clean and begin to recover should have a sponsor.

How do you get a sponsor?


Listening is the key to finding a sponsor. The most obvious place to look for a sponsor is at NA meetings. Talk, share, and listen to members of the program; get plenty of phone numbers and use them. When you find someon with whom you can talk openly and relate, simply ask that person to be your sponsor. Chances are the answer will be "yes." Sometimes the person may be unable to sponsor you. Keep on trying! Remember that when one door closes, another will open. Continue to attend meetings, listen, and soon you will find a sponsor.

What length of clean time should a sponsor have?


The answer to this question varies from person to person. The sponsor may be a member with years of clean time behind him, or may only be a few months in the program. The sponsor's clean time and experience may well depend on the availability of sponsors in your area. The quality of time is more important than the quantity of cleant time. Choose someone who has a firm grasp on the twelve suggested steps of recovery in NA, seems reasonably happy, and has the willingness to help other recovering addicts. We call people like this "winners" and it is a good idea to find your sponsor among these recovering addicts.

Should a sponsor be a friend?


Our experience has shown that a good sponsor relationship need not be based on friendships, but trust is vital. When looking for sponsors, we considered their experiences in life, the quality of their clean time, their availability to us, and their willingness to help. As trust deepens, friendship based on mutual respect often follows.

Should my sponsor be a man or woman?


It is strongly suggested that we find a sponsor of the same sex. Experience has shown that members of the same sex better understand certain issues, such as sexuality, family or identity problems, etc. We are emotionally unstable and it is easy to form emotional bonds with members of the opposite sex. This detracts from our program and could spell disaster, especially for the newcomer.

Should we have more than one sponsor?


We think not! Our experience has shown that it's easier to receive direction from one individual. We find it easier to trust in one person, rather than many.

With one sponsor we can learn to build a relationship based on trust and honesty. Through shared experience, a sponsor is able to reflect on personal growth.

As we grow in the program we learn to be more open and honest with others.

Remember: "Just for today, I will have faith in someone in NA who believes in me and wants to help me in my recovery."

How do we use a sponsor?


Communication is the key to this relationship. When we have questions about any part of our program, we know we can look to our sponsor, but it is our responsibility to get in touch with them at these times. Whether it be by telephone or in person, we share our problems with our sponsor. Good or bad, we try to share our experiences on a daily basis. Day or night, whenever we feel the need, we contact our sponsor. It is important that we be honest with our sponsor, that we listen with an open mind to suggestions, and that we are willing to try a way other than our own.

Remember, we need never be alone.


How to be a sponsor


It is our experience that the decision to become a sponsor is an important step in our recovery and should not be taken lightly. We believe that, whenever possible, we consult our own sponsor before agreeing to sponsor someone else. In order to arrive at this decision, we might wish to explore our motives. Are we considering sponsorship to look good amongst the fellowship, or to help the addict who still suffers?

Remember that we can only keep what we have by giving it away. Therefore, we may wish to consider the following questions: Am I ready to become a sponsor? Am I willing to share my experience, strength, and hope? Am I willing to make a commitment?

After having decided to become a sponsor, where do we go from here? We feel it is important to realize that our own recovery comes first. We believe that the basic purpose of sponsorship is to help the addict through the Twelve Steps of recovery. It becomes increasingly obvious to us that the best way to do this is by example. Sponsorship is an extension of our own personal program of recovery. One of the most difficult aspects of sponsorship is drawing the line between caring and enabling. We feel it is enabling them when we work their program for them. It doesn't help addicts if their sponsors are overprotective. Sometimes, tough love is essential to an addict's growth. We suggest that you keep in mind that it is our responsibility to carry the message, not the addict. We are not reformers, preachers of the gospel, welfare workers, part-time social workers, marriage counselors, money lenders, employment counselors, or parole officers. It is important to remember that we are also suffering addicts.

There may be times when you are unable to relate to the person you sponsor. At this time you may direct them to someone who may help. We need not feel guilty if someone we sponsor relapses. We are all responsible for our own recovery. There will be times when we won't have the answers. It is our responsibility to seek these answers out with the people we sponsor. We are not God!

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It's all about spirituality...
JudyO


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Sponsorship, Revised This is NA Fellowship-approved literature. Copyright © 1983, 2004 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved One of the first suggestions many of us hear when we begin attending NA meetings is to get a sponsor. As newcomers, we may not understand what this means. What is a sponsor? How do we get and use one? Where do we find one? This pamphlet is intended to serve as a brief introduction to sponsorship. Our Basic Text tells us that "the heart of NA beats when two addicts share their Recovery," and sponsorship is simply one addict helping another. The two-way street of sponsorship is a loving, spiritual, and compassionate relationship that helps both the sponsor and sponcee. WHO is a sponsor? Sponsorship is a personal and private relationship that can mean different things to different people. For the purposes of this pamphlet, an NA sponsor is a member of Narcotics Anonymous, living our program of Recovery, who is willing to build a special, supportive, one-on-one relationship with us. Most members think of a sponsor, first and foremost, as someone who can help us work the Twelve Steps of NA, and sometimes the Twelve Traditions and Twelve Concepts. A sponsor is not necessarily a friend, but may be someone in whom we confide. We can share things with our sponsor that we might not be comfortable sharing in a meeting. "My relationship with my sponsor has been the key to gaining trust in other people and working the steps. I shared the total mess that was my life with my sponsor, and he shared that he had been in the same place. He began to teach me how to live without the use of drugs." WHAT does a sponsor do? Sponsors share their experience, strength, and hope with their sponcees. Some describe their sponsor as loving and compassionate, someone they can count on to listen and support them no matter what. Others value the objectivity and detachment a sponsor can offer, relying on their direct and honest input even when it may be difficult to accept. Still others turn to a sponsor mainly for guidance through the Twelve Steps. "Someone once asked, Why do I need a sponsor? The sponsor replied, Well its pretty hard to spot self deception...by yourself." Sponsorship works for the same reason that NA worksbecause recovering members share common bonds of addiction and Recovery and, in many cases, can empathize with each other. A sponsors role is not that of a legal advisor, a banker, a parent, a marriage counselor, or a social worker. Nor is a sponsor a therapist offering some sort of professional advice. A sponsor is simply another addict in Recovery who is willing to share his or her journey through the Twelve Steps. As we share our concerns and questions with our sponsors, sometimes they will share their own experiences. At other times they may suggest reading or writing assignments, or try to answer our questions about the program. When we are new to NA, a sponsor can help us understand things that may confuse us about the program, from NA language, meeting formats, and the service structure, to the meaning of NA principles and the nature of spiritual awakening. WHAT does a sponcee do? One suggestion is to have regular contact with our sponsor. In addition to phoning our sponsor, we can arrange to meet up at meetings. Some sponsors will tell us how often they expect us to contact them, while others don't set those kinds of requirements. If we cannot find a sponsor who lives close to us, we can look to technology or mail to keep in touch. Regardless of how we communicate with our sponsor, it is important that we be honest and that we listen with an open mind. "I rely on my sponsor to give me general direction and a new perspective. If no-thing else, shes an important sounding board. Sometimes all it takes is saying something out loud to someone else for me to see things differently." We may worry that we are a burden to our sponsors and hesitate to contact them, or we may believe our sponsors will want something in return from us. But the truth is our sponsors benefit as much as we do from the relationship. In our program, we believe that we can only keep what we have by giving it away; by using our sponsors, we are actually helping them to stay clean and recover. HOW do we get a sponsor? To get a sponsor, all we need to do is ask. While this is simple, it may not be easy. Many of us are afraid to ask someone to be our sponsor. In active addiction, we may have learned not to trust anyone, and the idea of asking someone to listen to us and help us may feel alien and frightening. Nonetheless, most of our members describe sponsorship as a crucial part of their Recovery. Sometimes we finally gather our courage, only to have someone say no. If that happens, we need to be persistent, have faith, and try not to take his or her decision personally. The reasons people may decline probably have nothing to do with us: they may have busy lives or many sponcees, or they may be going through difficult times. We need to reaffirm our faith and ask someone else. "When I picked my sponsor, I looked at it like an interview. Are we a match? What are your expectations and what are mine? I looked for someone openminded who I felt comfortable talking to." The best place to look for a sponsor is at an NA meeting. Other places to seek a sponsor are NA events, such as service meetings and conventions. In seeking a sponsor, most members look for someone they feel they can learn to trust, someone who seems compassionate and who is active in the program. Most members, particularly those who are new to NA, consider it important to find a sponsor with more clean time than they have. A good rule of thumb is to look for someone with similar experiences who can relate to our struggles and accomplishments. For most, finding a sponsor of the same sex makes this empathy easier and helps us feel safe in the relationship. Some feel gender need not be a deciding factor. We are free to choose our own sponsor. It is, however, strongly suggested that we avoid getting into a sponsorship relationship that may lead to sexual attraction. Such attraction can distract us from the nature of sponsorship and interfere with our ability to share honestly with each other. "When I got clean, I was insecure, lonely, and willing to do anything for some comfort and company. My natural tendency was to satisfy those desires and not have to focus on what was necessary to build a foundation for my Recovery. Thank God for the integrity of those members who supported me and didn't take advantage of me in the early days of my Recovery." Sometimes members wonder whether it would be okay to have more than one sponsor. While some addicts do choose this route, most caution against it, explaining that having more than one sponsor might tempt them to be manipulative in order to get the answers or guidance they are looking for. WHEN should we get a sponsor? Most members consider it important to get a sponsor as soon as possible, while others explain that it is just as crucial to take a little time to look around and make an informed decision. Going to a lot of meetings helps us to determine who we are comfortable with and who we can learn to trust. While we are looking for a sponsor, if someone offers, we do not have to say yes. One thing to remember is that, if we get a sponsor to help us in our early Recovery, we are free to change sponsors later if that person isn't meeting our needs. "I compared the timing of when to get a sponsor to drowning. I needed that life-saver/sponsor immediately!" When we are new to the program, we need to reach out to other addicts for help and support. It is never too early to get and use phone numbers and begin sharing with other recovering addicts. Our program works because of the help we can offer each other. We no longer need to live in isolation, and we begin to feel part of something larger than ourselves. Sponsorship helps us to see that, in coming to NA,we have finally come home. You may have questions about sponsorship that this IP did not answer for you. While there may not be "right" or "wrong" answers to your questionsthe experience of our fellowship varies from community to community and member to memberwe do have a book on sponsorship that addresses many issues related to sponsorship in greater depth._________________

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"Nothing worth having comes Easy"
Raman


Guru

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No matter how long i stay clean,, i need a sponsor.
Im greatful to Bob,,, him bieng about the 7th sponsor ive had,,,
in my area ther was this intense problem of finding an addict with clean time to sponsor me,,,
in fact there were no recovering adicts then,, so i made do with AAs.
But in my heart I wanted to connect with aniother addict,,, today that dreams been true for about 10 years now !!!
First Bill who made me Trust as in the Third Step,, the Tom who got me working at the 4th,, the Diana who as aptient and loving in my Fifth,,,and now Bob,, weve gone all the way from the to the 12th,,,,
I cannot believe that anyone other than a recovering addict,,, primarily can give me the message of recovery !!
I cannot bel;ieve either that theyd have had a message for me if they hadnt lived it themselves !!!
Its the theraputic value of one addict helpng another !!!
Now theres a full book on Sponsorship that WSO approved !!!



__________________
Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
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