"In accordance with the principles of recovery we try not to judge, stereotype, or moralize with each other"
Basic Text p. 11
How many times in our recovery have we misunderstood the behavior of another, immediately formed a judgment, applied a label, and neatly tucked the individual into a pigeonhole? Perhaps they had developed a different understanding of a Power greater than themselves than we had, so we concluded their beliefs were unspiritual. Or maybe we saw a couple having an argument; we assumed their relationship was sick, only to find out later that their marriage had prospered for many years.
Thoughtlessly tossing our fellows into categories saves us the effort of finding out anything about them. Every time we judge the behavior of another, we cease to see them as potential friends and fellow travelers on the road to recovery. If we happened to ask those we are judging if they appreciate being stereotyped, we would receive a resounding "no" in response. Would we feel slighted if this were done to us? Yes, indeed. Our best qualities are what we want others to notice. In the same way, our fellow recovering addicts want to be well thought of. Our program of recovery asks us to look positively at life. The more we concentrate on the positive qualities in others, the more we'll notice them in ourselves.
Just for today: I will set aside my negative judgments of others, and concentrate instead on appreciating the favorable qualities in all.
A very close friend of mine who's been going thru a nasty divorce and child custody thing for 4 years now just made a grave error and comitted several very serious crimes last week.
I had been warning him that he may end up doing something like this or worse and he has, I was one of the only people in his life who did not support all the fighting he was doing, not that there wasn't good reason to but he's an addict and all this fighting isn't good for us, we have to surrender and turn over so many things not just our addiction , so much more . The results of doing this can be miraculous , but my friend decided to take matters in to his own hands and he finally lost touch with reality and did an insane thing out of resentment .
It's hard not to judge him espcecially after warning him over and over I guess now its my turn to turn this over and let it go . I guess I need to focus on his good qualitys and what this might all mean in the long run for him.
It's effected me greatly, this is a dear friend and it breaks my heart to see this happen. I fear for him and what he must now face which are consequences and they will be great!
I cannot express the importance of working this program as thourough and hard and HONESTLY as you possible can , we're all very sick some are sicker then others but we're all in the same boat I don't know that I would have done things differently especially with children involved so maybe that thought will keep me from being so judgmental towards him.
