I have whats called moderate depression at least thats what the doc told me years ago, he put me on meds and i turned into a zombie and decided to just deal with it and I used dope and booze to help me thru those though all I wanted was to be offf the stuff i just couldn't deal with what was going on in my head. I know it's difficult at times I have a hard time doing aloot of thing and it's partly due to depression.
For me I try to recognize what state of mind i'm in and then i can work on things, if it's depression thats getting me down I just try to walk thru it sometimes i give in and isolate myself but that just depress's me even more.
Everyday getting up and ggoing to work is hard only days I really enjoy is when i'm getting up to do something I enjoy doing, fishing, gold panning, spending time with my girl or going to the gym, so I make sure I do those things when I have time it's all I have to look foreward to in life. I give myself things not to be depressed about and it almost feels like i'm having less and less days of depression.
For me I think the depression came as a child, I waspowerless over my family my home and things were terrible there I was living in fear alot of my childhood , it depressed me and made me an angry hurt person and a perfect addict but now we have this program to live by we live by spiritual means we have something solid to grab hoold of and helps us out off this situation and yes it's a mental condition many of us have, this program is set to help even the sickest of the sick, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.
Work the program read the literature guide your mind towards change and growth hope for positive change and it will come.
As addicts, many of us experience depression from time to time. When we feel depressed, we may be tempted to isolate ourselves. However, if we do this, our depression may turn to despair. We can't afford to let depression lead us back to using.
Instead, we try to go about the routine of our lives. We make meeting attendance and contact with our sponsor top priorities. Sharing with others about our feelings may let us know we aren't the only ones who have been depressed in recovery. Working with a newcomer can work wonders for our own state of mind. And, most importantly, prayer and meditation can help us tap the power we need to survive depression.
We practice acceptance and remember that feelings like depression will unquestionably pass in time. Rather than struggle with our feelings, we accept them and ask for the strength to walk through them.
(from Just For Today, page 378)
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Hang in there. It has been my experience that dealing with mental heath issues in recovery is a touchy subject. I too have experienced clinical depression in recovery. Cliniacl Depression is a valid Mental illness diagnosed by a professional using certain tools the DSM-IV is one of them.
Unfortunatey, some in recovery think they know the answers when they have never experienced the problem. There are many people in you situtaion, and there is no shame in it. Talk to your dr's and hang on. Clinical Depression is caused by a chemical imbalnce in your brain, it is not a time to time thing. It is a constant state that can be managed by professionals.
I too suffer from bouts of depression and we do recovery.
Been there, felt that... diagnosed for Bipolar in '97... suffered from it till 2005... chronic self-injurer... suicidal tendencies... disabling depression with crazy manic episodes in between... felt hopeless and thought I could never get out... Now, I don't suffer from it anymore... Took me 1 year of staying clean, intensive talk therapy with my counselor over the year and working the program to turn the tables... or perhaps my depression had just reached remission by then...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
and yes, just my personal experience, nothing NA here...
Taking Lithium, Valproate, Olanzapine, chlorpromazine, prozac and another dozen happy pills that I was prescribed and experimented on by my pdoc over 7 years only numbed my sickness but I hated the side effects that seemed worse than the depression itself sometimes... these pills never worked towards eliminating the problem, they only killed my feelings so that I don't get to feel depression at all... overtime, my depression grew med-resistant, and my pdoc had given the go-ahead for ECT on me when I finally said 'no' and my counselor also stood by me then, and it was the talk therapy with her over a year that finally made the difference for me...
Just my experience, might not necessarily be so for others...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
The core of our disease is total self centeredness.......
When one is sharing ESH, one is not bashing anyone else.... A mental illness is a serious issue. It is also an outside issue that should be dealt with by professionals. We are here to share ESH, not to give advice........
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
