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NA Message Board -> Narcotics Anonymous Message Board -> A Starnger in my own house...
Post Info TOPIC: A Starnger in my own house...
Magellan


Veteran Member

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Posts: 33
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A Starnger in my own house...
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Hello All,
23 days of total sobriety today. I was in rehab. for 3 weeks and am taking my first steps since I got out Sat. morning. I've attended 6 NA meetings and I have 90 meetings in 90 days to attend. I live in the city of Cairo in Egypt where NA meetings are abundant (what a relief). I got a sponsor yesterday and things are moving slowly but they're moving. I came home on Sat. and was shocked to find out that it was all new to me. I don't even know who I am. I don't know my wife or daughter, it's like when did all this happen? The air is diffirent, the world is diffirent. It's very scary and seems like it won't end. I wait for the meetings every evening and I thank God for them. I just feel very weird like I don't belong anywhere except in the rooms. Sometimes I wish I was back in the safety of the rehab. I'm just terrified and they tell me it's normal. It doesn't feel normal at all. Does it really end? Will the suffering stop? Why does my body ache? I went back to work and I feel like a zombie. Maybe it's too soon. Anyways, I'm really glad to be near all of you even it's with a message in a forum. Thank you so very much. I cannot do it alone.. 

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Be Yourself!
BigV


Senior Member

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Posts: 3718
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Glad to see you keep coming back Magellan.

Just stay focused on what your purpose is and that is to stay clean.


The air will clear don't worry, everything will have a newness to it and of course like most of us fear will terrorize you at times, just walk thru it , you have a new power in your life today some call the program a higher power some call whatever god they have there higher power but whatever you choose or have chosen is bigger then your addiction.


What I do almost everyday to start my day focused is read, I read the " just for today"

Heres todays http://www.earthgroupna.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4610

March 20

Higher Power

"Most of us have no trouble admitting that addiction had become a destructive force in our lives. Our best efforts resulted in ever greater destruction and despair. At some point, we realized that we needed the help of some Power greater than our addiction."

Basic Text p. 24

Most of us know without a doubt that our lives have been filled with destruction. Learning that we have a disease called addiction helps us understand the source or cause of this destruction. We can recognize addiction as a power that has worked devastation in our lives. When we take the First Step, we admit that the destructive force of addiction is bigger than we are. We are powerless over it.

At this point, our only hope is to find some Power greater than the force of our addiction—a Power bent on preserving life, not ending it. We don't have to understand it or even name it; we only have to believe that there could be such a Higher Power. The belief that a benevolent Power greater than our addiction just might exist gives us enough hope to stay clean, a day at a time.

Just for today: I believe in the possibility of some Power that's bigger than my addiction.

pg. 82


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It's all about spirituality...
JasonD


Senior Member

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Posts: 214
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Talk to your sponsor daily, follow his suggestions and you will be ok. You can do this!

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jazzygirl


Member

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Posts: 12
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Magellan. When everyone tells you what you are feeling is normal, they are right. They are so right that there's a scientific name for it. Perhaps you learned about it in rehab---Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS). It's a group of longer lasting symptoms that persist after the drugs are out of your system. It's exactly like what you're describing. Do some research on it and you will feel better. And it is time-limited, it will pass. In the meantime, you're doing all the right things to get through it. Keep going strong with that 90/90!

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Karl


Veteran Member

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Posts: 42
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welcome Magellan and keep coming back. Congrats on your 23 [now 24] days. You seem to be right where you are supposed to be. It's a process that gets better as time goes on and you eventually process things differently.

Hope to see you around here.

((((((((hugs)))))))

Karl

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we can


Senior Member

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Posts: 186
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It gets soooooo much better just keep coming back!

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SANDRA together WE CAN recover
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