Hey, my name is Brian and I am an alcoholic and am addicted to opiate based pain killers and marijuana. I have been sober from alcohol for a while now but the other 2 is a different story. My DOC has always been pain killers, the pot I can quit pretty easy but the pills I am affraid I will have a problem with. I have a sponsor now and attend meetings and I have completed the first step and admitid that I am powerless but I did relapse. I am now working on 24 hours (almost there) and I just wanted to tell someone else. Thanks for reading and I look foward to posting here and getting to know all of you.
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Sick and tired of being Sick and tired
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Hang in there, I've kicked hard opiates and opiate derivatives myself, it's not fun, but hang in there. When your disease talks to you, and eventually screams to you "feed me a pill" just fight with all your might and resist. Go to meetings, come to the chats on MIP, call somebody, but dont any drugs [including wet drugs] In a few days it will be worth it. You will be free and have a great future ahead of you.
Heck if I can do it [and I'm basically a whiney wuss] then surely you or anybody else can too. So hang in there, I'll be thinking of you.
The physical aspect of our disease is the compulsive use of drugs: the inability to stop using once we have started. The mental aspect of our disease is the obsession, or overpowering desire, which leads us to using even when it has destroyed our lives. The spiritual part of our disease is our total self-centeredness. We felt that we could stop whenever we wanted to, despite all evidence to the contrary. Denial, substitution, rationalization, justification, distrust of others, guilt, embarrassment, dereliction, degradation, isolation, and loss of control are all results of our disease. Our disease is progressive, incurable and fatal. Most of us are relieved to find out we have a disease instead of a moral deficiency.
We are not responsible for our disease, but we are responsible for our recovery. Most of us tried to stop using on our own, but we were unable to live with or without drugs. Eventually we realized that we were powerless over our addiction.
Thats from the First step literature and boy howdy how I can relate and i'm sure you can to.
IF your really sick and tired you can do this if you have any apprehension, reservations any thoughts that you can do this on sheer willpower you may be setting yourself up for failure.
We have to be willing to work these steps and let the process bring us into a new understanding of how life works for us, it's different then alot of other people who don't have addictions, we're sorta SPECIAL so to speak LOL you can do this man " ONE DAY AT A TIME" just like the rest of us here.
Congratulation on your 24 hours. Narcotics Anonymous is a program of complete abstinence from all mind or mood altering substances. One suggestion would be to try not separating drugs into types and categories becasue it can be a trap for future relapse. In the first step of NA, we say we are powerless over our addiction, rather than a particular drug. I understand that your drug of choice might be opiate based pain killers, but the others can bite you just as badly and this disease is cunning and baffling and will pull out all kinds of tricks. If you have a sponsor and are working step one, you know the tools. It would probably be a good idea for you to do a 90/90 where you're at now, keep close contact with your sponsor and fellowship with other addicts. This is one place to do just that. Welcome to our board and feel free to join us in the chat room as well.
