I hate meetings. I hate higher power. I hate anyone with a program. To all who come in contact with me, I wish death and I wish you suffering.
Allow me to introduce myself: I am the disease of addiction. Cunning, baffling and powerful. That's me. I have killed millions, and I am pleased. I love to catch you with the element of surprise. I love pretending I am your friend and lover. I have given you comfort, have I not? Wasn't I there when you were lonely? When you wanted to die, didn't you call me? I was there. I love to make you hurt. I love to make you cry. Better yet, I love when I make you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry. You can't feel anything at all. This is true glory.
I will give you instant gratification and all I ask of you is long-term suffering. I've been there for you always. When things were going right in your life, you invited me. You said you didn't deserve these good things, and I was the only one who would agree with you. Together we were able to destroy all the good things in your life.
I am such a hated disease, and yet I do not come uninvited. You choose to have me. So many have chosen me over reality and peace. More than you hate me, I hate all of you who have a twelve-step program. Your program, your meetings, your Higher Power. All weaken me and I can't function in the manner I am accustomed to.
Now I must lie here quietly. You don't see me, but I am growing. Bigger than ever. When you only exist, I live. But when you live, I only exist. But I am here... and until we meet again, if we meet again... I wish you death and suffering.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
MAN that is it right there, it's just waiting, quietly but we can overcome and have our own strength to fight and rule over addiction, there is a power greater then addiction at the hand of each and everyone of us we just have to be willing, open and honest.
wowo tahir that was deep but so very true it puts reality into perspective I never looked at it like that it i am grateful I can see things in different perspectives today.I am so grateful to have been blessed with NA I at times do not know what words to say Manon
luckily addiction is not a part of my true self,,,, the Program has taught me to let go what isnt mine,,, especially the false character developed during the using days and before !!!! I no longer need to lie to gain acceptance !
-- Edited by Raman at 05:10, 2007-03-07
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
