Last night I had a dream It had a tale to tell I dreamed I saw an Angel; Poor thing, he wasn't feeling well.
His body bruised and battered His wings were ripped and torn This Angel could hardly walk, He looked so tired and worn.
I walked right up to him to ask; Angel? How can this be? He turned around and paused a bit, Then he spoke these words to me:
"I'm your Guardian Angel, A great task as you can see. You've run amok most of your life: Look what it's done to me.
These bruises from sheltering you In times both dire and ill. Those alcoholic bouts and drugs you've used I've paid the bill
You see my wings are ripped and torn; How often they have flown you From evils unaware. Each mark is it's own story of deadly wounds destroyed You made me wish--more than once-- that you were in jail And I was unemployed.
If only you could make it Standing on your own; Oh, don't you fret or worry I'm getting old and frail."
I could not believe all I had heard, Let alone how much he cared. I wept upon his shoulder, Then left him in despair.
The next day I sat and pondered: Should I really try? And in distance I thought I heard; A Frail Old Angel Cry.
nullJust for today: I admit that I am powerless over my addiction. I will surrender to win.
thank you for sharing that poem with us. i've been thinking about it all day. i have to wonder how my guardian angel must look like today? and the hell i put him through?
there were many days that i thought it's a miracle i''m still alive... that terrible situations didn't get worse....that i walked away with only scrapes and bruises. rather then torn and bleeding...
today i hope that my angel has time to heal . as i'm healing through the love and guidance of NA.
and to finally give him a vacation from the vigallence he had to bare....
I think also the poem has something to do the people in our lives and how we have torn at there hearts and minds how hard it must have been on them we'll never know unless we experience the same thing. I know one thing in my Dads life that he's greatful for is my change he told my sister the other day, same with my mother who at one time had to take medication becuase she worried so much.
Angles are tough its there job dealing with all of this stuff, maybe some of us will end up being angles one day so we can know certain things, so we can show compassion towards others instead of selfish disregard of others that some of us have gotten so used to in our addiction.
Everyday it is surrender, yesterday evening i went thru a huge thing, wanted to use, had to surreneder over and over, "ITS NOT THE ANSWER VINI" "it won't help a thing" over and over and I drove home late at night in pooring down rain and fog, maybe my angle was watching over me.