About the program, but I certainly have my ups and downs in it.....I was in the chat room late last night and a young (to me anyway) girl came in blaming parents for where she was. Now I know i cannot tell if she is one of the unlucky ones that drew shitty parents out of the ole parent bin, but from what I got out of it, they wouldn't let her come home cause she was high.....
Here's my point...... First, i know how it feels to blame "them" and how "they" are out to get me. So I got to relate to another addict. Second, I know what its like to be high and to have someone tell you that you're the problem, not "they" or "them". So I got to look at myself (again) and feel that same thing sober cause I still don't want my mistakes to be mine....i want to blame someone else damnit. And finally, I feel like it helped me at the expense of someone elses suffering. I shared my experience to the best of my ability, and I can't save nor help anymore than to relate and type some words up on a screen.
I guess I am saying sometimes it really sucks to see those still sick and suffering, and it sucks to know I am still sick and suffering in some areas in my life. SO right back to the topic man, this shit aint never over, there is no graduation, and i'll never finish or complete a step. I can't decide if that is a blessing or a curse.
Peace out my family
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Faith: the substance of things hoped for, the belief in things unseen
guess what brett you actually did a step just by being there an answering another addicts cry for help its step 12 and I am a firm believer that the steps work you not the other way around. Everytime i admit a mistake i am doing a step four when i step up to the plate and share with someone that i made a mistake i am doing step five and on it goes. dont be so hard on yourself i think and its just my take on my journey that we complete a step and each step many times in our life when I say complete that does not mean that i will never have to do it again. This is a never ending process i will always be faced with new ways to work each step each day. I like to look at the positive side of that, if i feel i didn't do a good job at it i always get another chance. That sounds an awful lot like a step 10 makes it hard to fail when you have another chance doesn't it. Kinda like having a never ending supply of lives in a video game. Great to see you. YOu rock!!!
The best thing my family did was say "No". They allowed me to hit my bottom. I am grateful to my Mom for that.
Now I know i cannot tell if she is one of the unlucky ones that drew shitty parents out of the ole parent bin, but from what I got out of it, they wouldn't let her come home cause she was high.....
I was one of the unlucky one's or so I thought. I now realize that my Mom and Grandma did the best they could. I have learned a lot from step work. Not only writing on the steps, but learning to live them.
One of the things that STARTED to wake me up was when my Mom told me I was a terrible son and my Aunt told me the only things that came out of my mouth were lies.
I'm the same way Brett I still want to make excuses for my behavior and even blame, its auto response. But I try man to take the time and GET HONEST and see just what it is thats within me that brings on this trouble, its so insane I can't even see it sometimes, shortcomings Brett I believe that is what there called....
You know your right theres no graducation but we might get to highschool one day, feel like i'm in 3rd grade right now
You did good just being there for someone, ought to make you feel good and greatful.
(((((BRETT))))) so glad to see your post, I missed you! For me it's a blessing to know that I will never be done , it just means I will always be changing and growing to be a better me and have the kind of life I have always wanted but never knew existed. Thank god for NA and the 12 steps!
A Meeting Quote... "After 15 years in the program, it finally struck me... The journey is the destination."
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Thanks for the share, Brett. I have had times where I wanted to feel like I was 'done' with the steps, but you know what? These really aren't even actual Steps at all.. they are just new methods of dealing with life to replace the ones that were broken and didn't work. If I'm not getting enough food, I have to eat more. Just because I ate doesn't mean I won't have to eat again.
I am still very much an addict, and addicted to 'comfort', meaning I don't want to have to keep working. I want everything to ~~POOF~~ be perfect. But just because I am clean doesn't mean I get to stop living this difficult life everyone else has to live.
If the 'curse' of this program is that it is an ongoing program, I'll take the 'curse' over what I had to rip through to get here. I am sure you feel the same way, friend.
Cheer up, and keep on keepin' on. Thanks for the vent, and the topic.
I always share in the meetings here whenever I am overwhelmed with gratitude that addiction was only a small price I had to pay to get this wonderful program in my life today. And being an addict, I want more and more of it. I wouldn't want to give up on the NA way of life when it is so very advantageous for me in my daily life. I don't want to settle for anything less than the Twelve Steps of NA
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
makes it hard to fail when you have another chance doesn't it. Kinda like having a never ending supply of lives in a video game. Great to see you. YOu rock!!!
