i was told that God lives in everyone,and that holding a resentment meant i was hating him to....
pissed me off
but it is true.
all those efforts work,but also look for the God
i hear ya.
hey i added mav to my messanger,but you never showed...
yea........i thought you had it........
but there newist system is good
When we are born we are conscious only of ourselves, we are the universe. We perceive little other than our basic needs, and if these needs are met we are content. As our consciousness expands we become aware of a world outside ourselves. We discover that there are people, places, and things around us, and that they fulfill our needs. At this point we also begin to recognize differences and develop preferences. We learn to want and choose. We are the center of a growing universe and expect to be provided with the things we need and want. Our source of contentment shifts from basic needs miraculously met to the fulfillment of our desires.
Most children, through experiences over a period of time, come to realize that the outside world cannot provide all their wants and needs. They begin to supplement what is given to them with their own efforts. As their dependency on people, places, and things decreases they begin to look to themselves more and more. They become more self-sufficient and learn that happiness and contentment come from within. Most continue to mature; they recognize and accept their strengths, weaknesses, and limitations. At some point, they usually seek the help of a Power greater than themselves to provide the things they cannot provide for themselves. For most people, growing up is a natural process.
As addicts, however, we seem to falter along the way. We never seem to outgrow the selfcenteredness of the child. We never seem to find the self-sufficiency that others do. We continue to depend on the world around us and refuse to accept that we will not be given everything. We become self-obsessed; our wants and needs become demands. We reach a point where contentment and fulfillment are impossible. People, places, and things cannot possibly fill the emptiness inside of us, and we react to them with resentment, anger, and fear.
Resentment, anger, and fear make up the triangle of self-obsession. All of our defects of character are forms of these three reactions. Self-obsession is at the heart of our insanity. Resentment is the way most of us react to our past. It is the reliving of past experiences, again and again in our minds. Anger is the way most of us deal with the present. It is our reaction to and denial of reality. Fear is what we feel when we think about the future. It is our response to the unknown; a fantasy in reverse. All three of these things are expressions of our selfobsession. They are the way that we react when people, places, and things (past, present, and future) do not live up to our demands.
In Narcotics Anonymous we are given a new way of life and a new set of tools. These are the Twelve Steps, and we work them to the best of our ability. If we stay clean, and can learn to practice these principles in all our affairs, a miracle happens. We find freedom—from drugs, from our addiction, and from our self-obsession. Resentment is replaced with acceptance; anger is replaced with love; and fear is replaced with faith.
We have a disease that, in the end, forces us to seek help. We are fortunate that we are given only one choice; one last chance. We must break the triangle of self-obsession; we must grow up, or die.
The way we react to people, places, and things:
Dear Striker, I understand you have had a difficult and painful life. I have had many painful and unbearable experiences too, so dark and terrible that I still have nightmares about my past... these experiences had driven me nuts in my past... so much so that I started acting crazily, completely out of control... I was a chronic Bipolar, swinging wildly between weird manic episodes and major melancholic binges that disabled and crippled me...
When I stopped using and started working the program of recovery, I realized why I had those terrible experiences. Why my Higher Power gave me those experiences, that pain, that depression, that hopelessness... Today, I know that my Higher Power has a plan for me, and when I try to carry my Higher Power's will for me today, every step that I take and move ahead towards my destiny, I realize how important those experiences were to me now... and express my gratitude to my Higher Power...
Pain in life can be mandatory, but misery is optional... Just because I hurt doesn't mean I must suffer...
Know that you are precious and unique, merely by being... in your Higher Power's eyes... You too can know what your Higher Power's plan for you is, Just like me, by working this NA program of recovery...
Serenity is not absence of storms, but CALM in the middle of these Storms...
Thank you for sharing with us. We need you.
And yes, I believe that age ain't nothin' but a number... anyway, I'm 33 if that number means anything for anybody here... LOL...
Thank you too, for walking this path of recovery with me...
I Can't, But We Can!
Hugs, Prayers and Love ~ Tahir.
hey,im glad we are both here to help each other.
thanks for posting another of greg p 's writing.he is always near me
i can relate a little to where you are man.i was in the first persian gulf war.
but i do know the feeling of being used up and thrown away.
i think those feelings,whatever our background is is something we all have.i am truly glad you are here to learn the na way of life.
thanks for showing up.we do need you here.
It's an amazing piece of writing, Dalin, The Triangle Of Self Obsession, so simple yet powerful and precise... a perfect description of what I realized after my Fourth and Fifth Steps... I always read this IP whenever fear, anger or resentment grips me... Doing so helps me get back to the path of recovery... It works...
Love involves a willingness to suffer and to be inconvenienced.
The act of loving another broadens our understanding of the human condition and often pinches our egos. Indeed, one of the greatest gifts, though not necessarily cherished, which is granted through loving another, is that we gain humility and thus healthier, smaller egos.
How often do we say the words, "I love you," and yet resent being detained by our loved ones? How frequently do we expect to get our own way when resolving a conflict? Is the silent treatment a manipulative ploy we commonly rely on when problem solving with a spouse or lover?
Love wears many faces and it means not always getting our own way, or never doubting the other's sincerity. We aren't guaranteed happiness forever after, even when we know we're loved. But what giving and receiving love does promise us is growth, periods of peacefulness, some poignantly painful times, and many chances to demonstrate that another's well being is a priority, which in turn assures us of our own well being.
To me Serenity means the ability to live at peace with unresolved conflict !!!
The other form of the Serenity Prayer=
God help me change what I cannot stand,,
and stand what I cannot change !!!!
Hugs to you all and God Bless all you addicts wherever you maybe !!!
That was a beautiful anecdote, BigV. Thanks.
I have been reading Paulo Coelho's new book "Flowing Like The River" which is a collection of fables, anecdotes and short spiritual essays... It's a beautiful read... try it out... You won't regret...
Hey BigV, you know what, I read your post on this book "Love" and about Joe Buscaglia this morning, then when I was at a bookstore this evening, I saw the book, an old used one, and immediately the title and the author struck a chord in me... I bought it... I just started reading it... It's awesome... I cannot wait to read it all... and I already tried out one of his suggestions in his book... and I feel so peaceful and light...
He seems to have an experience of our program maybe... the way he has put forward his perspectives on giving it away is so much identical to what our recovery program is all about... Also many other aspects of his ideology seems to have evolved not by thinking and researching, but by feeling and experiencing in his life... Is he a recovering addict too, I wonder...
Amazing how you shared about this guy and his book and I find the book in the dark corner of an used books store on the same day... My Higher Power's cosmic game where the whole universe conspires to give me what I need today never ceases to amaze me... I had to get to know of this book thru you, and had to find this book lying there in a pile of dust at that bookstore... My Higher Power at work... Catch up with you and all at MIP later... Have to continue with my reading...
Hugs ~ Tahir.
V- I forgot all about it until you mentioned it, but we watched a video with Leo in our interpersonal relationships class, it was great. I am going to look for his book
THANKS FOR THIS IM JUST COMING BACK SO I NEEDED TO READ ABOUT RESENTMENTS