I HAVE COME TO BELIEVE..THAT RECOVERY BRINGS FORTH AN AWARENESS OF SELF..AND OF A HP IN YOUR LIFE...AND WITH THAT I AM ABLE TO MOVE FORWARD PRACTICING THE PRINCIPLES OF RECOVERY..I HAVE BEEN CLEAN BEFORE WITH NO RECOVERY..AND WHAT I WAS AN ADDICT NOT USING BUT STILL VERY MUCH ACTING OUT..MULTIPLY RELATIONSHIPS, LYING, CHEATING, MANIPULATING AND ON AND ON..WITHOUT THE THOUGHT OF CHANGE..I WAS TRYING TO MANAGE ALL THAT AND STAY CLEAN..IT WORKED FOR AWHILE..THEN I GOT LOADED..FOR ME I MUST BE ACTIVE IN MY LIFE..WITH TRUTH..FOR ME ...I CAN NOT BE OK ...WHEN I TELL A LIE..I MUST TELL THE TRUTH..I CAN NOT BE OK..WHEN I AM MANIPULATING..I MUST WORK ON CHANGE..TODAY..I CAN SAY I AM IN RECOVERY..AND BOY HAS THAT CHANGED MY LIFE WITHIN..I TRULY CAN LOOK UP...AND NOTHING INSIDE IS HOLDING ME DOWN..
Hear ya loud and clear Feisty! our goal is "recovery" thru the 12 steps and not mere abstinence!!Spiritual principles applied in the actions and decisions of our lives guided by our Higher Power allows us to recover,a day at a time and work toward being of maximum service to God and helping others!!Truly a blessing..........
Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Fiesty, thank you for sharing. When I read your words it made me realize regardless of what my husband tells me about being clean, he is not in recovery. He has been "clean" for the past 25 years but he still often times acts out (although he would never admit that). In his own words he once wrote...I've always tried to hurt others with my words, especially if they didn't do what I wanted." He still acts the same way today along with all the other "stuff" he says, especially to me. We've only been married for almost three years (8/8), but just two days ago I asked him to leave since I found out he only married me for economic reasons (that too was written in his own words). Things he didn't like out weighed the things he liked. I voiced my option and stood up to him and he didn't like it. After finding out why he married me in the first place and finding unopened condemns and other sex toys (not used on me, I might add), I asked him to leave our home.
Didn't mean to bend your ear, but again, thanks for those words. Now I really do know the difference between clean and recovery.