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Post Info TOPIC: online sponsor


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 147
Date:
online sponsor


Hi again all,


I was Just wondering about getting an online sponsor.?? How do you go about it and exactly how does it work seeing as you dont see each other face to face??
Emails? phone? If anyone can help me out, Id sincerely appreciate it. It just feels right to be here and in this forum. If Im going to be in this group so much talking your heads off , then you would think I can call it my online homegroup.  ??? My original sponsor ,who I still talk with a couple times a week is now almost 2 hours away from me and we cant sit down and do our step work the way we used to. Thats how we did it. FtF in the workbook, and little assignments here and there.
She is not well, and going back and forth to Texas to docs etc.....and Im just barely  hanging on trying to keep moving forward from this last relapse.  

thanks  in advance to anyone that can help me with this!:):)

God Bless
CArol

ps I heard something about talking in the mic??? is there a way to hear guest speakers that I dont know about? I am new to this kind of stuff so any help is appreciated.....I know its probly a de de deee answer! confuse

__________________
CAROL H.

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Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 3967
Date:

There is SKYPE too Carol, a real ,live interface !

__________________
Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 147
Date:

thanks I will go see what its all about

God Bless!!
Have a wonderful day!!!!!

__________________
CAROL H.

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Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 147
Date:

wink ohhhh your talking about webcam to webcam right raman???
I havent slept yet and its 6 am, it went right over my head ! LMAO


de de deeeee

__________________
CAROL H.

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Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 769
Date:

Hi Carol,

Are NA/AA meetings not available in your area? If working a traditional program isn't working for you (you mentioned relapse) then how do you expect a virtual program to work better? I'd highly recommend getting to meetings regularly (I attended one daily for the first 3.5 years) and getting a real FTF sponsor. If you can't find one in NA, then look at AA. I attended both programs as alcohol was my drug of choice but drugs came along with, but AA worked better for me. What's equally important is the FTF fellowship of making friends in the programs to hang out with and learn how to live life clean and sober. It's a package deal.

Dean

__________________




Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 3967
Date:

Yes Carol, thats the webcam to webcam approach !

__________________
Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 3967
Date:

Hmmmm,, and some of us will have issues like geographical isolation, emotional isolation, physical issues and therefore not able face-to-face.

I cannot comment about "early recovery" in context of email and internet and online cause we did not have that then in 1987 !

However, I know that NA STASTICS show the proliferation of web based recovery forums and processess all over the world, thereby bring recovey to addicts who cannot attend f-t-f meetings.

If I were to theorize on my own recovery, Id say that the best times Ive had was when the conviction came pon me that I had to do what I had to do in order to stay clean.

Know what Carol, Ive never had a real, live, face -to- face sponsor ever in my recovery, and it still works ! It always been email, and before that letters !

But I have made efforts to each out and hang out with local addicts wherever I am,,,
so Id say the Balancing is importanat, otherwise I get cranky, mad, and generally dis-eased !

__________________
Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 147
Date:

Dean and Raman


I was called on my babbling bs  and wanting to isolate and do things the easy way *for a person having trouble getting back into ftf* thanks budbleh lmao Im going to go for broke here and say that my #1 relapse indicator is wanting to do everything by myself instead of ftf or in a group setting! ie.gambling.

I do ,however, think that it is possible to be in a complete recovery program and get alot out of it via the computer! Raman is proof of someone who has taken all the tools new technology has offered us in n/a (a/a)and made it work for him. After I searched my intentions ,I think that for my own good I best get by behind back out into the world. To answer your question Dean there are na meetings here and I have started to attend them again though not very regularly no

All in all i guess what I was thinking when i wrote my original post was that id talk to a sponsor online,even when I didnt feel like talking to the rest of the world lol. My comfort zone is right here inside these 4 walls.
So the decision Ive made, reluctantly, is that I  better get a real live person to get me back to working my steps. ... from the beginning. smile

Thanks to both of you for giving me something to sit back and really think about!
god Bless
love u guys!
Carol


__________________
CAROL H.

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Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 769
Date:

Carol you're a good sport as I was fully prepared to be chastised a bit for my remarks. I am a hard head and it took a lot for this hard headed NA/AA/Acoa/Codo, sex addict, spend a holic, over eater.... (thanks God no gambling lol) to "get it". So I'm always concerned and try to share my experience of having to do everything that was suggested to me to make it this far. It took what it took and then some. I got to that point where I really really wanted it, and don't know any other way. Raman can tell how to do the deserted island method with smoke signals and all, I truly believe that but what I can't do is visualize that through my experience. Oh sure, I can do it now, but my head was messed up and full of misinformation for the first couple years, I had to keep me on a tight leash and constantly ask "hey, am I doing this right"? to my recovery brothers.

One thing that I can't emphasize enough is "The Fellowship". There is something about hanging out, doing extracuricular activities with Clean and Sober people and having fun. You can actually Glean recovery from them by rubbing elbows it seems. I know that the sober group of guys that allowed me to hang out with them, in my first year or three, just pulled me along in their draft. I really got to see and visualize what 1,3,5,...10 years could look like for me if I followed in thier footsteps. This is a program of duplication, and we need to be physically present for the demonstration (imo). Go have some fun. If you're not having fun in the NA groups nearby, go find a women's group in AA and make some friends. smile.gif

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Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 3967
Date:

I dont think you have to change the desire to chat or confide in someone online; it offers an addict lot of privacy and anonymity.

The important thing is we need to do what we need to do, and sometimes this means doing the things we dont want to.

I never had the previlege of face-to-face sponsor, simply because;l
1. there wasnt an availability of someone in NA who had more clean time than me in my area
2. I was not willing to try someone with lesser clean time as sponsor, somehow sounded false !

I am still faced with that situation.

A very vivid experince occured in England. I conciously took counsel/ guidance from two addicts there who had same clean time as me and this resolved a lot of stuff.

As for the rest of the recovering addicts in meetings there, I did learn from their shares and stories, but wasnt willing to risk my recovery by taking them as my sponsor.

Moreover, I noticed that whenever I took the guidance of R or M, guys that had same clean time as me, they came from experience and suggestion.

However, other memers there had maximum clean times of about 7 0r 8 years and seemed to come more from opinion of what was right and wrong rather than having lived through that reality.

Then there was this bright guy that had 13 years and he did try and advice me, but the whole thing turned and he actually began taking input from me regarding situations he was faced with.

I think f-t-f sponsorship is good when there ae people with clean time and experience with Steps in the area; otherwise, we need yto do what we need to do !

All the best Carol, remember this is a decision that we have to make for ourselves.

__________________
Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 2403
Date:

My current Sponsor is from Canada, and I live in India, and it's been working well for almost a year now I guess... Mostly our communications are through email, and also being a regular part of the same online NA groups/message boards... In fact, I've started working Steps with his guidance currently, again online, via a common Step Group mainly consisting of my sponsorship family...

My ex-Sponsor of more than 2 years was also from USA, and he has been the most instrumental and deciding factor in my early recovery, especially when I was nearing my first year clean. Through constant communication and interaction with him via email, I've overcome 3 major crises/dilemmas in my early recovery. So I guess I can say it works fine. I also have a few Sponsees living in another city/country. And our Sponsorship has so far worked via email/phone calls, and an occasional face-to-face meeting when we get to be in same town for a day or two.

For me, it's not about how I did it and with whom. It was more about how desperate or enthusiastic I am about working the Steps. Whether I felt that my Sponsor was near me or far away, the program that he shares with me, I found, is what works for me. Of course, there have been moments where I've seen one of my NA friends sit with their Sponsor at the cafe having a chat, and I do wish I can do that too... but then, as my very first Sponsor once told me, I see to it that besides my Sponsor, there is a support network of fellow members/oldtimers to whom I can also reach out to, meet them over coffee and sharing and caring...

Check out Earth Group of NA, an online NA Group. There after you've registered/joined, you can see a thread/topic on the forum that says "Sponsorship". You can find a list of men and women Sponsors, members who are willing to help out others online. You never know, you might find the 'one' meant for you there smile.gif Good luck, best wishes and fellowship hugs.

__________________
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting." Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 147
Date:

I would never in a million years give up my online fellowship! I think that once you have found the right group via internet, and get to know each other well, the same type of bond and fellowhip exists as it does in live color!! Case in point is Dean ,from reading my posts, knew enough about me to know that I was really trying to keep isolated disbelief It was cleverly disguised too!!

My post also opened up a  new line of discussion and got us all thinking of just how MANY ways there are to be involved in this group we love so much . WOW I  LOVE N/A
And I love all of you toowink


Hugs for everyone
God Bless



__________________
CAROL H.

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