The Triumph is not in succeeding, but in not being afraid to fail.
Hi BigV, I feel I can share with you and for anyone else who might make use of it the Step Six worksheet that was passed on by my first Sponsor to me and which I use in my own personal recovery to this day Feel free to take what you want and leave the rest. I post it below with the hope that it helps another soul just like it does for me and a few of my NA friends...
It is suggested that you first read the text of Step Six from the NA book IT WORKS HOW AND WHY [pages 59-68]. Share your perception of what you read with your Sponsor and also at meetings. Mark those parts that you need more understanding on from your Sponsor and discuss those parts with your Sponsor until you have arrived to a clearer understanding on the same.It is suggested that you carry out a minimum of one inventory every day for the next 30 days as per the format given below taking one situation that arose in the course of the day. If you have problems identifying a defect (or naming a defect), you can use the list of defects of character provided in this step working guide or seek help from your Sponsor for the same.It is suggested that you answer the questions 1-6 of the Sixth Step Inventory everyday.
EVERY DAY, I TAKE A MINIMUM OF ONE SITUATION OR EXPERIENCE FROM THAT DAY WHICH GENERATED EMOTIONAL DISCOMFORT WITHIN ME AND LEADING ME TO ACT OUT ON MY DEFECTS OF CHARACTER. EXAMINE AND FOCUS ON THAT POINT IN THE SITUATION WHICH TRIGGERED THIS DISCOMFORT WITHIN LEADING TO YOUR ACTING OUT THROUGH THE BELOW INVENTORY QUESTIONS [If there were more than one aspect that triggered or caused this discomfort within, examine each of those aspects separately using the below inventory questions].
Describe briefly the situation where I began feeling this emotional discomfort, and where I became aware that I acted out on one or more of my defects. Note down this/these defect(s) you took into use in this situation at the top of your answer to Question 2.
 While working on the above Sixth Step Inventory, I also simultaneously write down a minimum of one thing/incident/situation which I experienced as a success on that day and ask myself why I experienced this as a success.
 Today, did I feel joy that I had difficulties holding on to, and if so what was it about?
 Did I have difficulty holding on to my joy because I could not get myself to share it with others? If no, why did I have problems experiencing my joy? If yes, why did I have problems sharing it with others? Was I not able to share it with others because I feared their condemnation, envy, ridicule etc.?
I have found the main taproots of my disease is despair and all its forms
rage and all its forms and fear and all of its forms. Think about the different forms these take and there are many, despair, is quitting, whats the use attitude, why bother, its useless to do anything different,avoiding, leaving, evading,running away, I have no value, Im no good, its useless to try to be different, and more, rage, anger, resentment,separation,isolation,against others,violence of thought or action, angry language, cursing,disatisfaction,hositility,defense,retaliation,that leads to self destruction, suicide, anger against self, depression,reaction,angry attitude,macho,pride,arrogance,etc, and fear, non action,projection into the future negatively, negative thinking,pessimistic,hiding from self, running,evasion etc, they overlap each other and lead into each other,
now you are on the six step let go and move on to the eight step
Anger is not a defect. Defects are our dysfunctional coping mechanisms. Anger is a feeling, and as recovering addicts we are not in the business of avoiding feelings. Anger may well be the entirely appropriate emotional response to a situation, and as such we need to allow it. What we do NOT need to do is act on it. We are not human pinballs, living is not about reacting to whatever the world throws at us. We have choices. We are not meant to control our thoughts and our feelings, we are only meant to experience them, but we have absolute say in how we behave, and recovery is about recognising that choice and being empowered by it. All of our feelings actually contain important information, and we must learn the lessons they are trying to teach, or we'll be doomed to repeat the same mistakes. It is dangerous thinking for an addict to mis-categorise any emotion as a defect, as well being exactly the kind of mistake that our illness wants us to make. Feelings are OK, feelings are actually our friends, and the source of much of our wisdom and freedom from active addiction. The illness doesn't want you to know that. Be kind to your mistakes, take the lessons that they offer. You will feel far less anger when you can stop reacting and start to exercise a choice. Two things that I find helpful to remember here are 1) What other people think of me is absolutely none of my business 2) If the honest answer to a question is "I don't know" then have the humility to own it, you don't have to have the answer right now, this instant...
Good luck :)